Family Matters
by OliviaKate22
Summary: Adam has always kept his personal life private. Until he returns stateside with Preach (still in coma) and Adam introduces his teammates to his twin sister Kate. McG and Kate's introduction causes a mess for the whole team. Kate is placed in danger and the Special Operations Group 7 will have to save her.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"Kate, this is a shift from Hell." CeCe my charge nurse tells me in a quite frustrated voice, as I am walking pass her into my patients room. I nod in agreement, my mouth is full of chips. Its been the only thing I have eaten this whole shift. Though my 12 shift is coming to an end, I am going to be here for several hours more. _'Why did I pick this extra shift? Especially on a full moon_.' Thinking to myself as I pass the privacy curtain of the patient's room.

"Hello. How are we doing?" I ask over enthusiastically. Trying to cover how tired I am and its only 4 a.m., tonight alone we delivered 8 babies, worked one nurse short and still had 3 moms laboring.

"When can I get an epidural?" The laboring patient asks. She was admitted earlier in the evening but hadn't made much progress. Looking over the print off from the computer on her contractions. She is going to be in labor for a while, with these type of contractions.

"Let me check you and see where we are?" I tell her as turn on the water to the sink and start to wash my hands. There's nothing more that I love then being a nurse. The enjoy I feel whenever I get to delivery a healthy baby to a family, I am walking on air. That new life lessens the dark parts of the world.

Plus my night shift team with my co-workers are the best, they are my support and family when my brother is deployed. My brother is usually on the other side of the world, so I could get more of a chance to chat with him. Adam is a soldier and my twin brother. Though he doesn't do normal soldier things, well not anymore. He was in the Army, then he did his time in Special Ops, but now he can't tell me where he goes or what he does. I am just here when he returns home.

I slide my hand into the gloves and I squeeze lube onto my fingers. "Bends your knees together, and let them fall apart." I pull the sheet up a little, so my hand is in the right place. "It's cold to the touch, and pressure. Breathe." I tell her, she was a 3 but now she is at a 5 cm dialed. She can have her epidural.

I tell her, I will order her epidural as I wash my hands again and leave the room. Sitting down at the nurses station and my feet are screaming in pain, they hurt. Its been a couple of days since the last time I have spoken to my brother, which is usual. My brother is the only family I am close with. Our family is complicated. Adam and I are the oldest, Rebecca is only a couple years youngers and Sarah was the baby of the family. But Sarah isn't with us anymore. Rebecca takes care of our mother back in Pennsylvania. I take care of everything while my brother is gone. I live and work in Washington D.C. just to be here when he needs me. Like Adam, I don't like to go home if we don't have too. Though Adam does have a cabin he goes to for weeks at a time in Pennsylvania, in the middle of nowhere. He tells me that where he goes to get his mind right before leaving for his next mission.

I open the bottom draw of the desk at the nurses station. I shove 3 more chips in my mouth and place my drink back on the counter top. Waiting for my desk top to load, I pull my phone out of my navy blue scrub top and I look to seeing if Adam has been on.

"Is that hottie brother of yours home?" Lexi asks, taking the seat next to me. Lexi has always had a thing for Adam, since he brought dinner to me one night.

"No. I haven't heard from him either." I tell her, worry bubbling around in my gut. Adam picture for his profile shows he hasn't been on. Adam has golden blond hair and aqua blue eyes. Our eyes is the only thing that links us as family or even twins. I have dark brown hair, thick with curls and I look like I haven't seen sunlight in years. Adam on the other hand looks like he has been sun kissed for his years working as a soldier.

A call light from a patients room beings to blink on the phone. "How can I help you?" I ask answering the phone, the patient isn't mine but her nurse was in with another patient.

"My wife is saying she is having a lot of pressure." the voice on the other answered.

Lexi and I both get up and quickly move into the patients room, knowing what that means. Its time to start pushing.

It was 10 am and I am finally leaving work. All my charting done and babies and mothers are healthy. For a full moon it could have been a lot worse. Last month I had a stillborn birth on a night like this, I will take last night as a win.

My work bag slang over my shoulder, sunglasses covering my eyes from the bright morning sun. My hair pulled into a ponytail, my feet killing me, and I am exhausted. Coffee being the only thing to keep me moving this morning. That first sip touching my soul and warming my whole body.

My phone buzzing in my scrub top. I am praying is not work, I don't think I can turn around at this point when I am already almost to my car.

Wave of excitement covers me, waking me up more when I see my brother's picture and phone number lighting up my screen.

"Are you home?" I can't control my smile

"Hey Kate, I just got back." His voice sounds stressed, this isn't a voice of someone who just returned from deployment.

"What's wrong Adam?" I start to worry.

"I have to finish some work here before I can leave base. Are you working tonight?" He ask me. I know he is needing to talk about something, whatever it is, is bothering him.

"I am just getting off now. I will be off tonight and the next two nights." I tell him. I cant wait to see him.

"Good. You want you can come over we can do pizza and beers." Adam starting to sound like himself.

"I like the sound of that. Just call me whenever you want me to head over." Though I know I wont be able to sleep today.

"I will. See you tonight." He tells her.

"Hey. Welcome Home Adam." I say, nearly bouncing in place.

"Thanks Kate." I hear him say, then the phone goes silent from his end. Adam didn't ever like to say good-bye, I don't know if it was his time with the military or what, but I don't know when the last time he told me Goodbye.

Dropping my phone in my pocket, I quickly make it to the my white Jetta. Not feeling tired anymore, I turn on my radio, roll down my windows and embrace the good of today. My brother is home.

Much later that night, after several hours of much needed sleep, I drive over to my brother's very much familiar apartment. While he is gone I visit his apartment, check his mail and ensure there isn't any problems with the apartment itself. Even though his bachelor pad needs some serious work and a woman's touch.

Stepping to the dark blue door and quickly rapping three knocks on the door. Seconds passed before her brother opened the door.

"Adam" I exclaimed, as we nearly fall backwards into his apartment.

"Hey sis." I hear him say, as he gives me tight squeeze, before we break our hug.

I tapped the door close with my foot, following Adam into his small living space. His apartment was not decorated, the kitchen opened up into the living room. Two bar stools and the bar served as the dining room. Nothing was on the countertops in the kitchen but the two boxes of the pizza and a six pack of bottle beer.

I lean against the bar, taking a long look at my twin. I can see that demons of war are haunting him. Nearly healed scratches on his forehead near his hairline were the only signs of injury from his deployment. He didn't gasp in pain from my hard hug and he wasn't limping. These are all good signs. But his dark circles under his eyes, and tired expression told me that he probably hasn't slept in days.

"How long have you been back?" I slip out of my shoes, and dropping my bag next to them.

"The day before yesterday." He said as he picked up the pizza and beer, making quick strides towards his favorite spot, his brown leather recliner chair. Placing both items on to the coffee table. His living room was small like the rest of his apartment. His couch and lazy-boy were placed in front of the flat screen television that was mounted on the wall, with the worn coffee table in between.

"So, tell me." I sit with my feet tucked under me, on the couch. Not sure if I should start eating, afraid whatever he could tell could make me sick.

"Just want to cut to the chase. No talk about work or anything that I missed for the last 9 months, you want to hear how bad it was." He said, not eating either. I can see it, he needing to talk through whatever it is he is seeing when he closes his eyes at night.

I shake my head vertically, waiting for him to speak. Leaning against the arm of the couch, my hand covering my mouth and I mentally prepare for my brother to spill.

"You know I talk to Xander on a regular and I do a post-deployment behavioral screening." Adam said sarcastically.

"You feel better every time, plus it me. I know how you are wired, the guilt you carry and how you relate things to our past." I wave my hand in a circular motion, telling to proceed.

"We lost Eli at the very beginning." Adam pausing taking a deep breath. "That shook the team, Jaz placing these walls up around. She nearly stopped talking to the rest of us. We got this new guy, and she went on the defense. She didn't want to have anything to do with him. Even questioning my authority in front of everyone. But Amir, somehow broke down her walls and making our team whole again. I cant tell you the amount of times this deployment we had stupidly _close_ calls. I didn't think I was going to make it home this time." His voice broke a little. "I nearly lost Jaz." Adam rubbing his hands over his face, but his face darken at the memory. Knowing how Adam feels for Jaz, losing her would probably mean I would lose my brother too. "This last one, dealt with a little girl. All I thought of was Sarah, and I couldn't keep my head in place. Preach had to keep me in line. I would of flown off the handle, and then I did. We saved her, but at the cost of Preach." Adam now sitting up resting his elbows on her knees, head in his hands.

My heart is breaking, thinking the last time I saw Preach. Dinner before their deployment. Preach promised he would take care of Adam for me, like he always did when they were gone.

"He is in coma, with brain swelling from a brain bleed. We brought him home, so he could be with Sandra and the girls. I don't know if he is going to make it. I cant lose him." Taking a deep breath and steading himself. "I don't think McGuire can step up and be my second in command. OH! YEA! McGuire did something beyond stupid and getting his caught with his pants around his ankles and making my elite team look like a bunch of horny frat boys. Not a trained group of professionals." Adam shouted in his talking voice getting his frustrates out. Leaning against the back of the recliner.

The silence hung heavy in the air, I processed everything he just told me. I am glad he was home and alive. Preach is home. Though I haven't ever met Jaz and McGuire they are both home, so is the new guy. But Eli. They lost Eli. I wanted to cry for the only two people I knew from Adam's team. I quickly weep the underneath of my eyes before my tears spill over. I can't imagine the amount of pain and heart that Adam has endured these last few months. Everything we video chatted or messaged he seems stressed but happy.

"Your home now. Preach is home with his wife and daughters. Jaz, McGuire and _Amir_ they are all home. Look at all the good you did. Look at the people you saved. Think of the jokes you will be able to tell because of McGuire indiscretions." I laugh. "Adam you did good. You can breathe now, your not at war." I told him, not bring up the part about Sarah. He is always trying to make up for what had happen to Sarah. He blames himself for her death. Anything dealing with kids always weighted on him more.

"Your right, Kate. I feel better." Adam exclaims in a defeated voice. I know he hates talking about it, but he will sleep better tonight knowing it is off his chest.

"Can we eat now that our therapy session is over?" He teased as popped open the pizza box, revealing the meat lover cover pizza.

"Yes please. I only had 8 Pringles, a coke and a cup of coffee. I am famished." I pull myself a slice and biting the end of the gooey heaven. Loving having my brother home. "Lexi, remember tall blonde? Looks like she played volleyball? Anyways, she wants to jump your bones. If you see her run, I don't want you sleeping with her or anyone else I work with. We share way too much at work, especially Lexi and I don't ever want to hear about how you are in bed." I joke, with my mouth full of pizza.

"I don't sleep around. Also I don't _ever_ want to hear about what you do behind closed doors. " He laughs in the same matter, mouth full of pizza.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Muffled voices coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door woke me from my slumber. The soft morning sun beaming through the plastic curtains. I fight with my watch to see the time. ' _Who is here?'_ I think to myself seeing that it was only 7 am.

I stayed the night with my brother, I really couldn't think about leaving him after he has been away for so long. I took his bed, and he slept in his recliner. But now it sounds like he has company. I better make myself presentable before I meet who ever is on the other side of the bedroom. The voices sound like they are teasing each other, and having a good time. Plus it smells like someone is cooking. As long as I have coffee I will be set for the day.

I am still in my sweats pants and plain black t-shirt from last night. I comb my fingers through my hair knowing it looks like a loin's mane. My curls are out of control after I sleep, especially if I don't braid my hair before bed. After three beers, I didn't have the mind to braid it. I take a couple breaths and wipe the sleep from my eyes before I stand and open the bedroom door.

Adam's living space is filled with unfamiliar faces. Though I probably know their names. One for sure is the petite woman sitting in Adam's recliner, jet black hair and a beautiful face. She is probably Jaz, the one woman that Adam would give everything up for.

Jaz and the other two men sharing the same shocked expression, exchanging looks between each other.

"Good Morning." I announce myself, Adam has his back towards me standing in the kitchen at the stove top.

"Everyone this is my sister Kaitlyn. Kate this is my team." Adam introduced me. The team? Wow, he must be feeling out of place without Preach or Eli at his side. I have never met any of his previous team mates before.

The petite woman sitting in recliner is the first one to pop up and introduce herself.

"I am Jaz Khan." I was right. I shake her strong hand. I notice her pointer and middle finger are tapped together. Wondering what has she done to her hands. "Kate." I tell her. As she collapses back into the leather chair.

The man sitting on the couch stands and extends his hand out to me.

"Joseph McGuire." I shake his hand, I feel like I cant breath. He is tall, dark hair and gorgeous dark brown eyes. Its like a electric current is running through me and source is coming from him. His chin and cheeks are covered by his beard. His lips pull into a smile. "I'm Kate." I know I need to let go of his hand but I don't want too. I forget how to breathe.

"Amir, ma'am." The shorter man, pulling my attention away from _Joseph McGuire_. There is a chuckle of laughter coming from Jaz and Amir. "Kate. It's nice to meet you all." I shake his hand, letting go of his hand he returns into the kitchen. Where Adam didn't turn around to look, being too preoccupied with his task at hand.

I am standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room. Everyone looking at me, I am not sure what to do next. Like my brain and coordination to move aren't in sync together. Finally getting my feet to work I sit in my normal seat, on the couch closest to the brown recliner. I fold my feet under me and sit down. Joseph McGuire take a seat on the other end of the couch. Amir and Adam in the kitchen together cooking.

"Its nice to finally put a face to all the names I have heard about." I break the awkwardness of the room.

"Oh, Top talks about us?" Jaz asks with a chuckle, giving a sideways look in the kitchen at Adam.

"Yes" I tell them.

"I haven't heard much of Top's family. Are you younger or older in the lineup?" Joseph asks. His body is turn towards me, we have a cushion in between us. Amir looking over the bar as we are talking.

"Adam is older. But only by 13 minutes." I explain. The same shocked expression returned, like I told them something they didn't know.

"Like you two are twins?" Amir questions. I look at each of them. Adam gives me a shoulder shrug and an eye roll. Has he told them anything about his life?

"Yes, like twins. Fraternal twins." I explain. Not wanting to piss off my brother by telling them too much about his personal life.

"What has Top told you about us?" Jaz is questioning me now.

"But first, I have been assuming Top is Adam, wouldn't be Captain?" I ask, the nicknames and official names sometimes become too much to keep up with.

"Kate, Top is what you call a First Sergeant. When I met Preach in years ago I was a First Sergeant before I went Officer. I am a Captain now but since Preach has been on the team the name Top has just stuck. And I don't mind." Adam jumps in before anyone else. I am shocked by the way his team mates watch and listen as he talks. If I didn't know he was their leader before, this would confirm it for me. His team respects him and what he has to say. Makes me respect my brother a little more, as well as this team he has.

"Gotcha. What Adam has told has been all good, even funny." I laugh a little, the stories I have heard about these guys and the pranks come to mind. But I won't bring up anything specific "I know that you go by McG." I point at Joseph McGuire. "I have heard about how ninja like you are. Adam says you are the only one to scare him to death." I point with my whole hand at Jaz. "Sorry, Amir I haven't heard much about you." I give him an apologetic look. "But Preach always spoke so highly of your team." I finish telling them. I know that this team minus Amir has been together for at least 4 years.

"You know Preach?" Jaz asks, she leans front in the recliner. Her whole body language gave her away. She wanted to know everything I knew about their team.

"Yes. I met him right after I got into nursing school, maybe 8 years ago." I explain, thinking back fondly of how young we all were. Preach being a new dad to his youngest daughter, he couldn't stop showing photos of his baby girl to us. I remember the look on Adam's face, how he feared for the life that Preach was living with a wife and young children. I knew Adam was scared to let anyone that close to him. He was scared to make that type of a commitment to anyone. Worse of all he was worried that one day, he could have to make that visit to Sandra door and tell her, her husband was killed in action. I can only imagine the type of pain that Adam had to go through telling Sandra that Preach is in coma. Ultimately, I hope Adam finds someone he could be happy with.

Hell I hope to find happiness with someone. It has been 2 years since I had a relationship, it was too hard between working my nights in Labor and Delivery and picking up days working in the Emergency Room. I was working 6 days a week and taking that one day off to catch up on my sleep and to do laundry. I was difficult to be with and I understand why our relationship ended, I was too selfish in what I wanted. I haven't given up on the idea of finding someone, just waiting for him to come into my life.

"You're a Nurse?" Joseph chines in.

"Yep, I work in Labor and Delivery." I give him a cheeky smile.

"Hey, that's enough chit-chat, food is ready. Let's eat." Adam announces from the kitchen.

"Where's the coffee?" I question, looking over the bar. I see scramble eggs on the stove top, bacon, and toast. Adam pointing on the counter top. Then there it is on near the refrigerator, the coffee pot. Jaz behind Amir, Joseph behind Jaz, with Adam being last as we fill our plates with food. I skip the over the food and grab my coffee cup and fill it. Opening the frig grabbing the milk for coffee, then placing it back. Taking my seat back on the couch while I sipping on my coffee, and having the warmth flow over my body.

"McG you don't want to use your hands?" Amir teases him. "I think this is the first time I have seen you with a fork."

"Hey, we are stateside now." Joseph snapped back laughing.

"You leave your caveman tendencies for only deployment?" Jaz ask. She sat on the floor at the coffee table.

"mmmmm nanananananananana caveman tendencies, shut up." McG mocks her and tossing a piece of toast on her plate.

The room fills with laughter. Joseph has an amazing laugh and gorgeous smile.

"Ok you two, I would hate for us to do another round of PT this morning because we can't get along." Adam taking his seat in the recliner. She wonder if Jaz knew how Adam feels for her.

"You guys workout this morning?" I just now looking at their outfits. All four wear some type if shorts and loose fitting t-shirts.

"3 mile run, pushups, sit-ups and squats." Joseph said bragging.

"Nothing much." Amir adds being sarcastic, he is sitting on the bar stool at the counter.

"A lot more than I could do, or ever do." I tell them.

"Kate, I couldn't do your job. Or anything that goes with it. Working out is apart of our job, plus we aren't completely done with our briefs yet. We are still wrapping everything up before we are officially on leave." Adam explains. He gently reminds his teammates, there is still work to be done.

"When does that start? Are you going to the cabin?" I ask. Usually whenever he comes back from deployment he will spend some time with me then take a month at most up at his cabin. He tells its his time to get right with nature and to get back into the being himself again. Which he does come back more relaxed and seems to be at peace with himself.

"Hopefully we will be wrapped up in a week. I will head to the cabin a week after that." Adam tells me.

The room becoming quiet again, with only the sounds of chewing and metal scratching against porcelain plates.

"Where are you all from?" I ask, hating the silence.

"New York City." Jaz beating everyone to the punch.

"Montana." Joseph adds.

"Lebanon" Amir adds. Adam shooting a look at him, I guess he isn't suppose to tell me he is from overseas. Making a mental note to not to mention to anyone where Amir is from.

"Wow, you guys are really from everywhere." I try to ignore the serious look on Adam's face. He wasn't happy, and the tension started growing in the small space. Jaz's eyes watching Adam. When I looked over at Joseph, laid back on the arm of the couch and his eye's lock on mine.

"Kate, we are gonna have to roll out soon for work." Adam's voice sounding a little harsh.

"O…. yea. I get it. I let me just my stuff." I groan. Feeling disappointed, I didn't want to leave yet. Setting down my coffee cup in the table and step off into the bedroom. Gathering my oversized bag I shove my phone charger and phone inside. And blindly rummaging my hand feeling for my car keys. ' _Found them!_ ' I think to myself as I grasp ahold of them.

Returning to the living space everyone has moved from their places. Amir and Joseph are in the kitchen cleaning up. Jaz is now perched on the bar stool and Adam is standing and waiting for me. Looks like he may had been pacing.

"Ready?" Adam ask me. Waiting to walk me out.

"Yep, just need my shoes." I step into my Toms, and they slide on. "It was really nice to meet you all. I hope we will see each other again." I gushed, making eye contact with Jaz and Amir, and skipping over Joseph.

"You too." Amir replied.

"Bye Kate." Joseph waving his hand soapy from washing the dishes. Giving him a glance over my shoulder. His sideways grin and soapy hand, making me smile.

Adam leading me to the front door. "Sorry about cutting our morning short." He explains.

"Don't worry about it. You have to work, just let me if you want to do something after." I instructed. Opening my arms and wrapping one over his shoulder and the other around his waist. "It was nice seeing." I whisper to him.

"We will chat after work." He reassures me. Letting go of him, I step outside in the hallway, making my way to the elevator.

"Kate, wait up." I hear Jaz from behind me, not realizing she had followed me out.

"You are ninja like." I chuckled. Jaz half jogs, I pausing for a moment so she would catch up with me.

"It was really nice to meet you. I don't know anything about Top outside of our job, but you seem cool. I think we are going to go out tonight after work, at least McG and Amir are. You should join us." She spoke rather quickly.

"I would like that." I smile at her. Though I will have to ask Adam if he is ok with me going out with his teammates. Reaching into my bag and I hand for my phone. "Give me your information, and just let me know."

Jaz quickly taps her phone number and name into my contact list and handed it back to me. I press out a text message, 'Hi, Its Kate.' And send it to her. I press the down button calling for the elevator.

"I got it." Jaz looking down at her phone. "I have to know what was Top like growing up?" Jaz gives a cheeky smile. I laugh, thinking how much trouble I will be in if I tell Adam Stories to the woman he loves.

"You're going to get me in trouble." I tell her. As we both get into the elevator and down to the ground floor.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 **Joseph's POV**

Standing at the bar, a glass of Tennessee Whiskey in hand, loud up-beat American music filling the room and hot women dancing in front of me. All I am missing is a slice of apple pie to round out this American is no threat here, relaxed might as well be my middle name at this point. Out of my OCP uniform and changed into jeans and a white button down shirt, the sleeves are rolled up to my elbow. I am no longer a soldier, I am just a guy relaxing and enjoying my freedom. I am finally home, back on American soil with all my fingers and toes. Pushing away the flashes of Preach laying on the sterile hospital hooked up to machines keeping him alive. Not allowing the dread of hopelessness and sadness taint my mood.

"Amir, you can't anymore American then this." I lean over to him.

"This is just like any other bar we have been to anywhere else." Amir yells over the music. "Only this place I don't have to order for you." Amir laughing.

I shake my head ignoring his comment.

I scan the room, it's a terrible habit I can't break and probably never will. Amir disappearing from side, he is talk with a woman at the end of the bar. _'Probably trying to get some.'_ I think to myself. I look around to the booths of the bar, in the corner booth I see a half empty bottle of Whiskey and a dozen beer bottles covering the table. That's where Top and Jaz are hiding out, the only light over hanging over the table top, the occupants masked by darkness. I wonder if Top will tap out or they will just call a truce on their little drinking competition. At least its Whiskey and not Tequila.

Top and Jaz started this drinking game one night after a mission. It was a close call and Jaz had narrow shot and she nailed it. But more than anything I think it was a way for her to deal with the lives she takes, though they aren't innocent. So, Top jumps in with her and starts playing Never Have I Ever, after a bottle of Tequila they were pissed drunk. I found them passed out at the table. I started I.V.s for them, I startled Jaz and almost got clocked, her reflects were slow from being drunk.

 _'_ _I.V. fluids when we get back.'_ I make a mental note. Though I don't dare to walk over there, I may interrupt something. Personally I hope Jaz and Top find there way into a bedroom. They sexual tension between the two is becoming unbearable. The team has an unspoken understanding about Jaz and Top, if they ended up together we would turn a blind eye. To keep our team together.

I scanning the room again, there aren't any red flags and nothing that makes me feel like we are in danger. Scanning the dance floor and enjoying the entrainment. It's good to be home.

Seeing that Amir has struck out, he is alone again and walking back over to me.

"Couldn't seal the deal?" snickering at him.

"Dude, I was buying Kate a drink." Amir stated, nodding his head in the direction of the dance floor.

She is walking back from the darken corner where Top and Jaz are sitting and making her way to the middle of the dance floor. Her thick curly hair bouncy around to the beat of the music. The tight olive green tank- top, skinny jeans and a pair of gray Vans. A beer bottle held in her hand and a huge smile stretching across her face.

"Wow!" I let slip out, watching I was hypnotized by her.

"McG! Top's sister." Amir pleads. I am ignoring him, my eyes are locked on the gorgeous brunette.

A big gym-rat looking guy dances along side her. She smiles at him, being friendly and he steps closer. Jealous raises up in me. I take a deep breath trying to calm myself. She takes a step back, creating more space between them and her hand pushing him away. He slides behind her pressing his body against her backside, his hands grabbing her by the front of her hips. Mr. Gym-Rat crosses a line. Anger burst inside me. Amir is saying something, but I can't hear him, blood is pounding in my ears as I charge towards Kate and Mr. Gym-Rat. I see one of his hands sliding up the back side of her thigh cupping her ass. All I can see it Red. Before I can get to her, Kate turns around and slaps the man cross the face. Then shoving him backwards, making Mr. Gym-Rat falling on his ass.

"Keep your hands to yourself." Kate is yelling when I get to her side.

"You ok?" I shout over the music. She is shaking out her hand.

"Yea, I think so." She tells me, giving me a tearful look.

"Let's get some air." I suggest. I didn't want her to be embarrassed, particularly if she was going to cry. I lead her outside on the deck. Only a few people were hanging out mostly smoking at the railing. I motion Kate into a seat, and sit next to her. We are separated from the smokers, it's us in the cool crisp night air.

"May I look at your hand?" I ask nicely. She was taking a couple shaky breaths and puts her hand out showing me a scarlet red palm. "That was an impressive slap." I exclaimed. I roll her wrist, making her flex and extend it. "Ball your hand, make a fist." I order. "Extend you fingers out. Any pain?" I ask her.

Her eyes are trained on my face. Astonished expression covering her face.

"Can I get you two anything?" A waitress ask, interrupting a moment we were having.

"Some ice, please." I request. My eyes not leaving hers. Seeing her tears are gone, noticing for the first time she has freckles on her nose and cheeks.

"Two Whiskeys, Please. Thank you." Kate added. Breaking our eye contact looking up and the waitress, giving her a smile.

"Is Whiskey for the pain?" I am asking her again. Her eyes meeting mine again. Her lips are slightly parted, her breathing a little uneven, counting the rise and fall of shoulders.

"No, embarrassed more than anything. What is your job in the Army?" She asked me, my hand still lingering on hers as its slowly rubs her redden palm. She hasn't withdrawn it, she doesn't mind my touch. A smile playing on her lips and curiosity play out on her face.

"I am the team's medic." I tell her, though I shouldn't have. We aren't really allowed to talk about our jobs or anything we do for the DIA to civilians.

"We have more in common then I thought. You keep Adam in good health." She laughs.

"When he lets me." I joke with her. She probably knows how stubborn her brother is. It took a 104 degree fever and dehydration before he admitted to being sick.

"I know he can be a difficult patient." She chuckles.

The waitress bring the two Whiskeys and a cup full of ice and leaving a handful of napkins.

"Thank you." Kate tells the waitress. I dump a few cubes in a napkin and place the makeshift ice pack in her palm. Holding the top of it in place leaving, my finger-tips barely touching the baser of her thumb. I don't want to move my hand, I enjoy the feeling of her skin on mine.

"What made you choose medic?" She questions me, holding her glass of whiskey to her mouth and sipping on it.

"My mom. She is a nurse, it was a compromise we made if I was to enlist." I explain. I wonder what my mom would think of Kate.

"Your mom compromised with you. Its really sweet." She tells me.

"What about you? What made you choose to become a nurse?" I question, I take a sip of my Whiskey.

"Adam gave me his G.I. bill so I could go to school and not to worry about student loans. I spent a couple of years in ICU and worked the trauma unit. But my calling is in L&D, I love seeing a family bring a little one into the world. It's a beautiful thing." She smiles passionately, then taking a sip of her drink.

She is a beautiful thing.

"I would be afraid of dropping the little ones. I would rather deal with the big babies like your brother." I joke. Her laughter is light and infectious. Making me laugh more.

"Your big babies I couldn't handle." She jokes, "I understand babies much more. Plus everything they do is a reaction or reflex. If they do something abnormal, I get to learn from them and make them better. Babies are so resilient." She gushes.

"Maybe I can learn something from you." I add, watching you facial expression. I know it was a cheesy line but I couldn't help myself. Her face lights up as she bits her bottom lip.

"Hey, it's time to go. Dalton and Jaz is needing to leave." Amir interrupting our conversation. Pissing me off a little. "They started on a second bottle." He adds. I nod, knowing it will be nearly impossible to get them home once they finished that second bottle. Amir and myself would most likely have to carry them over our shoulders. We need to stay under the radar.

"Great" I groan, extremely unhappy. "Sorry Kate, duty calls." I tell her, disappointment filling my body. I don't want to leave. I don't want to stop touching her but I have too. I withdraw my hand from hers. Getting to my feet I look down at her. She mirrors my movement, getting to her feet. I motion for her to follow Amir. I don't want to take my eyes off of her. I place my hand on her lower back as we push back inside the crowded bar.

"What's going on?" She yells, turning her head and giving me a sideways glance.

"Your brother and Jaz have this drinking competition, and we have to cut them off." Amir yells back. In the corner booth, the two soldiers are sunken into the corner.

"Wow they are drunk." She laughs.

"Yep." I slide inside the booth, getting Top's attention. "Hey Top." He flops his head towards me. He going to be difficult getting him out of this booth. He smells like whiskey and beer.

"McGuire!" Adam shouting.

"Let's go Top." I begin to help him out of the booth.

"Kate! Kate!" Jaz is out of the booth and arms wrapped around Kate's neck. Kate looking shocked but the unexpected affection. "I had-had no clue that Adam had sisters." Everyone catching Jaz using Top's first name.

"Why don't we get you home." Kate struggling to stay upright with Jaz still holding on to her. Amir and Kate on each side of the drunken sniper as they start moving to the exit. I have Dalton's arm over my shoulder as I guide him outside following our group to the curb. Amir waving down a cab.

"Meet you there." Amir yells over his shoulder as he dumps Jaz into the back seat of the first cab and climbing inside with her.

Kate waving down the second cab. Top is completely drunk, half passed out and swaying as we stood on the sidewalk waiting for the cab. All my energy focused on keeping him from falling over. Standing in front of me, Kate raises up on her tip toes and my eyes dart to her ass. All the noise and the drunken soldier on my arm disappears as I stare at her shapely backside. Her jeans complimenting the curves of her rear end and her legs have an amazing shape. My body reacts. I cant help it.

She turns around as a cab is pulling up. I am caught red-hand. I smile at her and shrug my shoulders.

She smiles back at me, her cheeks turn red and she turns her whole body once again facing the cab, that is pulling up to her. She is the first one to dip into the cab. I lower Top into the cab without dropping him. I squeeze in next to Top, it is a tight fit inside the cab with the three of us in the back seat.

"Milestone Place, Fort Totten Dr." I tell the cab driver. My eyes forward as we pull into traffic and then check behind us, ensuring we aren't being following. Somethings will never change.

"You all live together?" Kate asks, as she leans forward to meet my eyes. Top is passed out, his head cocked back, mouth open and breathing slow. Little awkward with her brother in the middle.

"Sort of. Different buildings. Jaz and I live near each other on the same floor, which it makes night like this easier to get everyone home." I explain. I meet her eyes and I can't pull away.

We will pull up to the apartment complex. Getting sleepy Top out of the cab was a challenge but we finally got him out. Stumbling to the third floor we made it to my apartment.

My apartment is just a place in-between to lay my head down. I am here before deployment, after deployment and some times during leave. Even Vegas or Key West loses it's a peel. My time spent here is purely for work, my apartment isn't for luxury. It's a small studio apartment, the kitchen is tiny and the living room/ bedroom is the majority of my apartment. The full size bed is pushed into the corner of the room. My desk and futon separate the kitchen and my living space. A tough box serves as my coffee table. My flat screen tv mounted on the wall with my game system stationed below. Though for a small apartment my bathroom is a good size. I have a huge bathtub, it's big enough to fit my tall self in it. My closet is a great size, it stores all my gear and leaves me space for my limited civilian clothes and a dresser.

"I almost had her." Top grumbles as I sit him down on the futon. Kate helping Top to stay upright, taking a seat next to him. Kate is trying to contain her laughter.

"I know. She can drink us all under the table." I tell him. I open the tough box, I pull a handful of IV starter packages, tubing, two bags of normal saline fluids, a pair of gloves and alcohol wipes. The tough box holds all of my extra supplies at, for times just like this or a bar brawl and individuals don't want to go to the ER.

"Have often does this happen?" She questions looking inside the box. Her eye brows raised in a questionable look.

"Often enough to have a supplies on hand." I joke with her, closing the top of the box. I kneel beside Top with the supplies besides me.

"I can do that." She kneels beside me, reaching for the gloves and pulling them on. Rolling up her brother's sleeve on his arm. Tracing the vein she is going to use. I watch her work, the concentration peers on her face as a crease in-between her eyebrows. Man, is it sexy watching her. She knotting the tourniquet above the site she wants to pierce. Inserting the needle into the skin, seeing the flash and advancing the catheter into the vein. She withdraw the needle and caps off the end, tapping the catheter. I hand her the end of the tubing and hold the bag of fluid up for her. "You know I do this for a living." She gives me a smile.

"He might be your brother, still my soldier." I joke with her. I start the drip of the IV and hang the bag off the back of the futon. "He is down for the count. I have to go down the hall and set up Jaz. Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry?" I ask her. We are still kneeling besides one another.

"I am good. Go, do what you do. I will wait here." She tells me, gathering her trash in one hand, then turning her gloves inside out and repeating with the other hand. Standing up I offer my hand to help her up. A buzz of energy starts at my hand and moves through my entire body, with her small warm hand in mine. Letting go of her hand and taking the trash from her, she sits next to Top on the futon. "Thanks."

"See you in a sec." I tell her. I have the supplies in my arms as I walk out of the apartment. Quickly speed walking down the hallway, and I open the door to Jaz's apartment. Amir is sitting in her chair playing on his phone. Jaz is sprawled out on the bed, fully dressed and missing one shoe.

"Please tell me you know where her other shoe is." I ask him. Amir pointing at the kitchen counter, where the other shoe is sitting. I sit on the edge of her bed and I start her IV. Though Jaz did try to kick at me, unsuccessfully. Before she went back to sleep.

"She is good to go. We still on for the gym in the morning?" Looking at Amir who is still playing on his phone. "Dude what are you doing?"

"I am on Facebook." He tells. As I fill a glass of water and leaving two aspirin on the counter for Jaz.

"That's very American of you." Rolling my eyes at him. Annoyed he didn't answer me. "I will see you in morning. Lock up when you leave."

Outside of my apartment I hear Kate talking. _"Sarah wasn't your fault. Adam you have to forgive yourself. Just go back to sleep, think of the river and the summers we spent there."_ Questions are bubbling up inside. I have the urge to know more. I don't know if it is to know more about my Commander and his mysterious personal life or about his sister that my mind can't stayed off of.

"How is he doing?" I announce myself. Kate is sitting with her feet tucked underneath her and her whole body is turned towards Top, and arm and head resting on the back of the futon.

"Just drunk." She says will a smile playing on her lips, but her face with a sadden expression. "I called for an Uber. Are you good?" She asks. Immediately feeling disappointed. She is leaving.

"I will walk you out." I offer. Just wanting more time with her. I want to know about her.

"No, its all good. Its right outside. Thanks." She is walking towards me, her hand extended out. I take her hand and gently shake it, the electric buzz humming through my body.

"Good night, McG." She tells me. I want to hear her say my name.

"Call me Joseph." I request of her.

"Good night Joseph." She smiles at me. My name on her lips was even better then I could have ever imagined.

"Good Night Kate."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Adam went back to being his normal self after our night out with the team. He apologized for getting so drunk. I teased him for it, and he didn't need to apologize. I thought it was awesome he could let down his guard around his teammates and have fun with them. Also my thoughts of that wanders to Adam's medic, Joseph. He is one of the most attractive man I have ever seen. The way he charged to my defense on the dance floor, making sure I was ok, as well as taking care of Adam and Jaz. Not only is he attractive but a good guy. When Adam gets back I hope we could get everyone together and do dinner, without the whiskey. I'd do anything at this point to see Joseph again.

Adam leaving for the cabin came at the perfect time, work became unbearable and nonstop. Adam and I spent his night before leaving for the cabin in the breakroom eating sub sandwiches. I was being a little extra pushy about him spending more time with Jaz. I like her and she would be great for him. His only excuse being that he is her commanding officer. Though I am sure something has happen between them. Or at least I hope it has.

Dinner was rushed when I had a laboring mom pregnant with twins came in. Hugging him I told him to be careful and to let me know he was alive once every once and a while. He was reassuring that he would, and he would come back in no time. I would miss our dinner and weekends going to the farmers market or just having him around but I know he needs his time away. He would come back with the weight of the world off his shoulders. That small window between returning from the cabin and before he comes down on orders is when Adam is at his best. Relaxed and happy or as happy as he could be. He would spend all his down time with me, but I have a glint of hope that he would spend some time with Jaz.

My days began to blend together. I had pulled 3 shifts in a 48 hour period. I came in for an ER shift, then I stayed to work in Labor and Delivery because they were short staffed. I was so tired I knew it wasn't safe for me to drive home. I slept in a breakroom for 8 hours and went back to work L and D again, not before taking a shower in the locker and changing into a the hospital scrubs. The scrubs were a ugly mint green color, but I felt clean.

Finally I am leaving work, I walk off the campus of the hospital to the coffee shop across the street. Not bothering to change out of the hospital scrubs and just wanted to get my coffee and sleep. My phone buzzes in my pocket. Slowly pulling my phone out, I am little upset to see it is work, again and not my brother. Its been four days since he left and haven't heard from him yet, but he will call once he is settled in.

"Hello?" answering the phone.

"Kate, it's CeCe. Don't come in tonight. I have down staffed you. See you at Lexi's birthday dinner." My charge nurse explains. A weight is lifted off my shoulders. I have the next four nights off of work. There is a good chance I will sleep every second of those four days, except for Lexi's dinner. There's a good chance that I will be drinking more than eating.

"Thank you. See you then." Over excitedly. I hung up and order my white chocolate mocha coffee with almond milk, waiting at the end of the bar to pick up my drink. I am exhausted and I cant wait to lay down and sleep until Lexi party tonight.

"Kate?" I heard my name from a familiar voice. Hope rises up in me. There's no way.

"McG, what are you doing on this side of town?" He is holding a coffee in one hand and his other hand shoved into his front jean pocket. Should we hug? No. Its's too late to shake hands. I tightly grasp the strips of my bag that hangs over my shoulder. I am way to tired, and now I'm nervous.

"Please call me Joseph. I'm doing exploring a little. Getting out of the norm. You just getting off of work?" He questions. I probably look horrible. After two days of non-stop work and sleeping in the break room, horrible is a understatement. He on the other hand looks amazing.

"Yea. You're not going anywhere fun for leave?" I ask, knowing that Adam said that the team was on vacation from deployment.

"No. With Preach still in a coma I wanted to stay close. Plus, its gives everyone some peace of mind that someone is here with Sandra and him. By the way, he is off the vent and breathing on his own. We are becoming hopefully he will wake up soon." His face lighting up into a huge smile.

"That's great news. I hope he wakes up soon." Guilt consumes me. I should of insisted that Adam takes me to see him before he left for the cabin.

"White chocolate mocha with almond milk." The barista yells from the inside of the bar. I grab my coffee and Joseph and I start walking outside. The early morning still blinds me, I pull my sunglasses down and covering my eyes.

"Me too. You keeping busy now that your brother is gone?" He ask. I can't help myself but to look at his stature and the way he walks. He is light on his feet but steps with purpose.

"Not anymore then usual." I explain. "I went in work the day before yesterday and this is the first time that I have left."

"No. That's horrible, you need a life outside of work. Need to relax and destress. You can't work all the time. Its important for you to have some type of self-care. Put on your own oxygen mask before you put on someone else for them, you know?" He is smiling at me but I hear concern in his voice. He reminds of Adam in this instance, telling me I need more of a social life.

"I know. I do have a life it just revolves around my friends from work and sometimes Adam." I say jokingly, feeling a little silly that I really don't have a life outside of my 12 hour shifts.

"Where's the adventure in your life? What makes your heart race? Not including work." He questions me. Standing outside the morning is crisp but not cold, not yet. I can't bring myself to answer him. I just look anywhere but at Joseph, the trees, down at my coffee, and then looking at his shoes. My silence answering my question for him.

"You know what I am going to take you out. We are going to do something non-work related and fun." He insist. "What are you doing tonight?"

 _'_ _Did ask me out on a date? He did ask me out! He actually is wanting to go out with me.'_ I think to myself as I am standing there, forgetting how to communicate.

"Kate?" Joseph starling me from my thoughts.

"Sorry. Tonight, I have a dinner thing for a friend. But after that I should be free." I tell him. I worry that if I postpone for another night I might chicken out.

"Great. Give me your number and I will meet whenever your having dinner and we can go from there." He tells me, holding his phone out. I take the phone with one hand and hand him my coffee with the other, as I quickly add my phone number into his contacts. My heart is pumping and the sound is deafening in my ears.

"Text me later and I will let you know when and where." I tell him. Knots in my stomach being to form, I start to become nervous. My palms are sweaty and I almost can't hear anything over the sound on my heart beat.

"Ok then, See you tonight." He hands me my coffee back and I hand him his phone. "Drive safe and get some sleep." He orders me.

"Yes Sir." I says sarcastically. "See you tonight." We walk in separate directions, I give him wave.

"See you later." He tells me, him smile covering his entire face.

 _'_ _I am going out with Joseph McGuire.'_ I think to myself walking back to my car.

Sitting at Marco's Bar and Grill Lexi's birthday dinner is in full effect. Its Karaoke tonight and the main event for her birthday. Lexi, CeCe, Anna and myself are crammed into a corner booth together. Marco's is a bar a few blocks away from the hospital, sometimes after a long day some of the doctors and nurses come here to blow off steam. Our coworkers from other departments pop by and wish Lexi a Happy Birthday, which you can't miss it's her birthday with her wearing her hot pink birthday sash and plastic tiara. Shots have been endless since we got here, that has helped my nerves knowing that Joseph will be here any moment to go took nearly an hour to figure out what I was going to wear tonight. I even called Anna, who is my closest friend to help me.

" _Anna I don't even know what I should wear." I complain into the phone while I shuffle through my hangers._

 _"_ _How do you know this guy again?" She ask._

 _"_ _He works with Adam. Seriously Anna help me." I pull a plaid button down off the rack and examined it._

 _"_ _Is it a good idea to be dating someone who works with Adam? Adam is gone all the time. He could be gone a lot." Sounding concerned. Pausing I realize maybe this is a huge mistake. Maybe I shouldn't being doing this. 'What would Adam think? Would he be ok with this?' I think to myself. I would ask him myself if he would answer his phone, when I called him earlier._

 _"_ _I don't mean you shouldn't go and have a good time tonight. Because you're still going, but I just want you to have your head on straight and be realistic about what your getting into. I just don't want you to get hurt." Anna tells me._

 _"_ _Thanks. I won't fall in love tonight. Now help me." I tell her._

I settled on a pair of skinny jeans, a gray v-neck cotton shirt and my knee high leather boots. I braid the strands of my hair out of my face down the side. I took a little time to do my makeup before I had to leave. Anna spills the beans before the second round of shots came to the table about my date after dinner.

"Is he hot? Like your brother hot?" Lexi questions. CeCe and Anna both leaning in closer to hear. I shove another chip with salsa in my mouth. Lexi can and does hook up with anyone but her obsession with my brother she becomes obnoxious when she drunks.

"First, Adam is not hot. He is my brother. Gross. And Second I think he is cute." I explain. Another round comes by, the waitress pointing to the guy at the end of the bar.

"Thanks Finn." Lexi yells and waves at the man, clearly he came from the hospital he is still wearing navy blue scrubs. "If keeps sending drinks I will be going home with him." Lexi tells us. "He could be my birthday gift." We will break out laughing.

"Keep your clothes on." I throw a chip at her. "Happy Birthday Lexi!" We all hold up our shot glasses and down the tequila. Lexi is a fantastic nurse and a great friend, but she is loving her single life. If I had her looks and her sky high confidence I would be doing exactly what she is doing, she knows how to have fun and relax.

"Or him. I'd show him my birthday suit." Lexi says drunkenly pointing at mister tall, dark and handsome. He was standing at the bar with his perfectly tailored suit pants, navy blue button down shirt that was tucked in. His hair was gel and his beard trimmed. Joseph McGuire with a tray in hand with 5 shots comes strolling up to our table.

"That's him." I whisper to my friends before he gets to the table.

"Hello Ladies, I was informed it was someone birthday." Joseph sets down the tray of shots.

My heart is in my throat. ' _Why does he have to be so good looking.'_ I think to myself. My stomach is tightening into knots, I will need this shot to keep my cool.

"Joseph, you made it." I choke out. "These are some of my friends, CeCe, Lexi and Anna." I introduce each of them Lexi and CeCe both wave at him, but Anna shook his hand as I said her name.

"Nice to meet you all, I am Joseph." he tells them. "I thought I would toast the birthday girl before I take Kate." Joseph begins to hand each of the girls a shot glass, handing mine last.

"Happy Birthday Lexi." Joseph raises a glass, clinking our glasses together and downing the shot. I have to wipe my lips and chin. I didn't get it all in my mouth, my shaky hands and knotted stomach doesn't help with my nerves. I look up at him, he is gorgeous. He could have been a model in another life, not a combat medic. He catches me staring at him. His smile is even amazing. _'God this isn't going to be more difficult than I thought.'_ I need to stop drinking before I pass out.

"Joseph, Kate is my closest friend. You're gonna keep her safe tonight?" Anna asks in a commanding voice.

"Yes ma'am." He response.

"Also don't let her drink too much." Anna continuing to use her commanding tone.

"I won't. I plan on feeding her too." He tells.

"Good. You two have a good night." She tells us in a cheerful voice. I think I already have had too much to drink. Feeling nauseous, light headed, I need to take a sip of water.

Joseph reaching his hand out to me, "Ready to go? Have some fun?" He questions me. Taking his hand I pray he can't tell that I have sweaty palms. My brain must be shortening out again, because my verbal communication skills isn't working. The knots in my stomach I am positive are turning into ulcers. _'This isn't a good idea.'_ "Ladies have a good night." Joseph helps me to my feet and bidding my friends good night. His hand feels enormous around mine. He doesn't let go of my hand when we stand. His fingers lace between mine and I feel his callous on his palms. They're strong but gentle at the same time. I don't want him to let go.

"Have fun girls." My brain finally starts to work again. Looking over my shoulder and give them a little wave. Lexi giving me a drunken thumbs up, CeCe winking at me and Anna is waving as Joseph leading through the bar, my hand still in his. The alcohol is amplifying the feeling of his skin against mine and I don't want to break our contact, he gives my hand a light squeeze. Sending shot of lightening through my senses.

Outside of the bar, the sidewalk is busy with people heading into the bar. The air is chilly, I am thankfully that I chose to wear jeans and boots and not a dress like I originally thought I would wear. The cold air helps sober me but the feel of him holding my hand still as we walk down the street together. It feels like it is was the most natural feeling. Like we have hold hands before. I can't pull myself to let go and now that the sidewalk is less crowded then the bar, there isn't any reason we are still holding hands. Except for because I still want too. Maybe he wants to hold my hand too.

He gently leads me to a Black Dodge Ram, with a lift and massive tires. He opens the truck door for me. "Sorry." He gives me a frown-like smile. I have to step up on to the sidebar to be able to reach the handle bar to pull myself into the passenger seat. If he did help me into the truck it would be pushing up my ass to seat. The thought of his hands on my ass makes me blush. He is being a gentleman and makes me like him a little more. I shouldn't have had those 4 shots of tequila. Once I am fully inside he closes the door for me, and a second later he is next to me in the driver seat.

"Ready for fun?" He asks me, bringing the truck to life.

"What did you have in mind?" Answering his question with a question. I stare into his dark brown eyes, and I feel like a magnet being pulled to him. I have to resist the argue to lean in and kiss him. His lips look like they would feel incredible against mine. The air is thick and its hard to breathe.

"I was thinking we would go to Dave and Busters." He is enthusiastic. Like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Let's do it." I match his excitement. Joseph puts the truck in gear and pulls into the lane. I am leaning on the center console. I have to keep my eyes forward, I don't want to get motion sickness from staring at him while he drives. I already feeling dizzy as it is from the birthday shots. The intensity increase between us as Joseph reaches his hand over and takes my hand again in his. The electric current runs through me just by his touch. He makes me feel something that I haven't ever felt before, I'm not sure if I should be curious or apprehensive.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
The bright blinking lights and loud arcade music dancing off her face. Her smile reaching her eyes, she looks incredibly amazing. I couldn't keep my hands off her. Holding her hand on the sidewalk and inside the truck. I wanted to touch more than just her hand. But I shut down those thoughts swiftly, lock them down, though I feel like a nervous high like I am about to jump from a plane from an ungodly height. _'God, why does this feel so feign and natural at the same time?'_ I think to himself.

My fingers are interlaced with hers as we push in deeper into Dave & Busters. It was packed, it is the beginning of football season and all the flat screens were set to every game that was playing. The area around the bar was packed with what looked like guys just wanted to watch the game and drink. At least we won't have to wait to play the arcade games.

"What shall we play first?" I ask her. Giving her a sideways, as I load money on a playing card. Kate is quite, I am having a hard time getting a read on her.

"It doesn't matter?" She says quietly.

"My favorite is shooting some zombies." We start walking towards the game. I hand her the gaming shotgun. Quickly give her a demonstration on how to use it. The game started and she was a natural. We played three rounds. She was relaxed now. She even tried to take one of my shots by hip checking me and knocking me off balance. I let her have it. Her laugh was infectious and light.

"Free throws?" She begins to pull me towards the side-by-side basketball hoops. I watch her, picking up a ball. I can tell from her posture and stand this is something she knows how to do. Like with the IV, she was concentrating and cease in between her eyebrows appeared. Watching her shoot ball after ball, I kept missing because I can't stop watching her.

"You have a pretty good jump shot." He tells her. She finishes throwing the ball in and hits the only net.

"I should. I was all-state in high school." Not even turning her head to talk to me. Her movement is fluid and coordinate.

"You? No way." Wow, she is full of surprises.

"Basketball, cheerleading and FFA." She explains jumping and making each shot.

"I was in the FFA. But everyone was. All the kids in my school lived on farms." Forgetting about the game we are playing.

"We didn't have any livestock or a farm." She told him, with a tone of sadness in her voice.

The buzzer goes off and lights being flashes around her hoop, showing she didn't miss a single shot. The game console shooting out tickets from the base. The sadness falls away and a smile fills her face. She beings sway on her toes. Almost at the same moment, her face falls inquisitively looking down.

"You didn't let me win now did you?" She giving me a curious look.

"No." I look in the direction she is looking, seeing that I lost horribly. It's shameful how badly I lost. The scoreboard blinking her 24 hoops made to my 11 hoops. "I got distracted. You can be distracting." Feeling like I am putting myself out there. I don't want to come on too strong but I think she is incredible and I want her.

After three games of Skeet ball, which I did let her win the last game. We tried to keep up with the Dance Dance Revolution, which we failed at. Either one of us can dance. My stomach growls in hunger. Reminding me that I did promise Kate's friend Anna that I would feed her. Walking towards the bar, her hands reach for mine. A bolt of electric shots through me. We find two open seats at the bar. She sits first then I sit beside her, placing my hand on her leg, her hand on top of mine. The bar is packed with football fans, some are drunker than others which puts me on edge. I take a couple deep breathes but try not to make it obvious.

Xander has to help me through my anxiety and the occasional panic attacks. Those first couples of days after the beach bombing I couldn't sleep, let alone breathe. I remember the faces of the dead that laid on that beach. It wasn't until a week after that bombing that I woke up in a feeling like I was being held under water. My chest ached, I couldn't move, I was paralyzed and felt like I was dying. Like the soldiers had the beach. Top found me and had called Xander. This wasn't the first time that my anxiety or PTSD clawed its way to the surface. He has me do this deep breathing exercise whenever I start feeling on edge or panicky. Typically I don't do well in big crowds but it is something that I have to push down deep inside, or I would never leave the house let alone be able to continue my job as a soldier. But the moment I start feeling like my anxiety spikes, I take a deep breath in and slowly let it out as Xander says "breathe out the anxiety."

"Are you close with your family?" I ask her. Trying to not look like I am scanning the bar, but I am. Finding what I already knew I would find. No threats, just drunken men watching a stupid game.

"I am close with Adam. My sister, Becca and I rarely talk. Only in emergencies. But Adam talks on a regular with her. He stops on his way to the cabin." She explains. "Are you close with your parents?"

"I am close with my mom and Grandfather." It has been a while since I have actually talked about my personal life, I usually tell a girl about my life as Walter. But I want Kate to know about my life, my mom and the childhood I had.

"Dad not in the picture?" She asks. I flagging down a bartender getting two ice cold beers for us.

"No. Never knew the guy. My grandfather taught me about being a man. He was the definition of a cowboy." I tell her, thinking of the silver-haired man on top of a horse in cowboy attire.

"Was?" Kate asks quietly. Her eyes are wide knowing what I am going to say next.

"Yeah, he passed when I was a sophomore in high school. I could not handle school and the farm work. And mom worked at the hospital. We sold the farm and she tried to convince me to go to college, but the Army was my fate." I explain, thinking about how much different my life would be if he was still alive. I would have never met this beautiful creature in front of me.

"I am sorry. It must have been hard losing him." She says, giving me a sympathetic smile and gently rubbing her thumb across my knuckles.

"It was. But in a way, if it wasn't for him losing him I would have never looked at the Army. In a way, he is the reason I am here today. Rather than running a ranch in Montana." I laugh lightly, thinking how fate really played a role in my life.

A mixture of cheers surrounds us. The noise makes me clench my hands. One around the beer bottle and the other holding her leg. "Joseph?" She says, seeing my reaction. I slow my breathing and push down the feeling of reaction that crawls all over my I could even answer her, I slowly open my eyes seeing the two guys behind Kate, the tension rises. One guy pushing the other guy, that is directly behind Kate into her. Knocking his drink and whatever contents on the bar on to her and causing her to fall out of her bar stool.

Jumping to my feet, pulling her off the ground and standing her up straight. "You ok?" I quickly ask. She nods though she is completely saturated from the beverage and food smeared across her gray shirt and jeans. The pulse pounds in my ears. "Hey asshole, you're going to say you're sorry to my girl." I pick the drunken man up off the ground my anger peaks. Clearly, he is intoxicated, he can't get his footing to stand up.

"Sorry lady." The man says while I hold him up by the collar of his shirt. The other man has walked off. Probably too embarrassed from his actions, he's a fucking coward. I release the man shirt from my grasp. Kate's eyes wide and arms wrapped around her midsection. Everything she was wearing was either wet or covered with food.

"Let's get you cleaned up." Digging out a twenty dollar bill from my pocket and setting it on the bar. I needed to get out of here before I lose any more of my shit. Kate trying to cover herself with her arms, her shoulders are rounded and head down. This definitely changed the mood of our fun date. I place my hand on her lower back as we walk towards the entrance.

"My place is close if you don't mind," she asks from over her shoulder.

"Not a problem," I tell her. I am hoping I didn't scare her. The whole situation has me on edge and I hope I didn't just ruin our date. Or ruin my chances with Kate. The drive was short and quiet, the radio played as background noise the entire drive. We pull up to her townhouse, red brick building that stands identically in a row of four. Kate inviting me inside, and hope fills my chest.

Once inside, she slips off her shoes at the front door and hanging up her keys on the hook next to the door. On the set of hooks, I see her work bag and her scrub jacket. I mimic her actions taking off my shoes. Walking from the entryway into the large open living room. The walls painted light blue, three large white framed pictures of peacocks hang above the gray couch. Different shades of blue pillows are scattered on the couch. On the opposite side of the room is a gray tv stand, with books lined beneath. Mostly medical books, and décor. Through the archway, I see the kitchen a dining room. Both matching the design of the living room. Behind me is the staircase that leads upstairs, most likely where her room is and maybe a guest room.

"Welcome to my home. Make yourself comfortable." Kate moving towards the coffee table, on it is a laundry basket sitting on top of it. Pulling a pair of black striped PJs and a sweater from the basket. "I will be right back." She hurries up the staircase. I take the opportunity to look around the living room. Table against the wall that holds all the pictures of Kate when she was younger. She hasn't changed at all since her teenage years. She has always been beautiful. Seeing a younger Captain Dalton makes me smile, he, on the other hand, has changed. He looks like a typical jock. Looking at the photos, mostly her and her brother but there are a few of Kate, her brother, and two others. Which one is her younger sister? Both girls could be related to Kate. Though there isn't any family photos anywhere or any current photos of her brother. All of these photos were from years ago, maybe before he was in Special Forces.

"How does Chinese food sound to you?" Her soft steps announcing her presences before she even spoke. Reappears wearing in pjs bottoms and sweater. She couldn't be any more beautiful. Her hair wrapped in a messy knot on top of her head.

"Sounds good to me." I trying not to stare. She walks past me into the kitchen and reappears a nanosecond later with a paper menu and two bottle water in hand. Handing me one, while she takes a sip of her own. Looking at one of her best features as she walks by. I thought she looked good in her jeans, but she in PJs like this turned me into a typical guy. I can't help, how sexy I found her. These black bottoms don't leave much to the imagination. I follow her movement sitting on the opposite end of the couch while she called in our order.

"I am sorry I reacted the way I did at Dave and Busters. I didn't mean to ruin our night." I apologize after she finished ordering.

"You didn't ruin it. The guy that spilled everything was at fault. I am having a great time." She says, pulling her knees to her chest and leaning back against the decorative pillows.

"Really?" Giving her a questionable look.

"Absolutely. This is have been one of the best dates I have been on. Even being drench in beer." She explains. Her eyes widen and she quickly takes another sip of her drink. Her cheeks are flushed like she said something she shouldn't have.

"I want to hear about the bad ones." Cracking open the lid of the water bottle.

"I will need something much stronger than this to talk about those. Just know going out on dates is a rarity for me." She gives me a scary face. I am shocked that she doesn't date.

"How is that even possible?" She must get asked out? Like how does this smart and beautiful woman not go on dates? I would have assumed she was already in a relationship. A thought jet through my mind. I want her to be in a relationship with me. Wanting to be the one in her life. Thinking that makes me aware I am tiptoeing on a dangerous line. Do I want more than a one night stand? Is having a relationship something possible for me? The doorbell rings, breaking me from my thoughts. On my feet, before Kate is, I step off towards the front door. Paying for the food and bringing it back into the living room where Kate has retrieved two plates and forks. The laundry basket sitting on the ground. Sitting on the couch, Kate sits directly next to me our knees touching.

"I was admiring your pictures." Tilting my head towards her table of photos. "I which one is your sister?" I ask. Pulling my chopsticks apart and rubbing them together smoothing the ends.

"Both of them." She replies in a muffled tone. Covering her mouth as she finishes chewing, her eyes avoid mine and her shoulders round in. The feeling of the room becomes dark and heavy.

"If you don't want to talk about it get it." Backing off the topic.

"No, it's fine. I told you about my sister Becca, she is technically the middle child. Sarah was the baby of the family." She clarifies. I can tell this is a sensitive subject. I pick up on the word was as she spoke about her youngest sister.

"Are you parents together?" Trying to change the subject.

"No. I mean, they were together, regardless of how abusive my dad was. Like, my dad was the definition of a nightmare. There should have a picture of him in the dictionary." She pushes the food around on her plate. "My mom made us stay. He killed Sarah and himself." Kate taking another sip of her water before taking another bite of the Sweet n' Sour Pork. Failing at changing the subject and intrigued now by her story.

"What happened?" I request, being thrown off from her blunt honesty.

"We were at Adam's football game, dad and another parent got into an argument. My dad, mom, and Sarah were all asked to leave. See Adam was playing, and Becca and I were on the cheerleading squad. We didn't know that they had left until after the game. They were already dead by then. My dad and mom argued on the way home, and dad wasn't paying attention. He flipped the car. Ejecting himself and crushing Sarah. My mom blamed anyone else but dad." She tells me putting her plate on the coffee table. Watching her as she spoke. Reading the emotions on her face, she is unresolved, angry and sad. With her lips pressing into a hard line.

"Sorry, I didn't know." Placing my hand on her knee. Craning my head to meet her gaze.

"I know you didn't. Hell, like you didn't know Adam had sisters." She places her hand on mine. Looking up at me, her aqua blue eyes and searing into me. Reading my thoughts and burying into my soul. The once angry expression quickly transform and now I am completely lost in the storm of her changing emotions. "Please don't tell Adam I told you. About Sarah or our dad." She breathes above a whisper.

Raising my right hand up at shoulder level, like I was receiving my oath. "You have my word." Her smile and giggle are infectious, making me smile as well. My eyes falling on her lips, my whole body is aware of hers and a warm sensation drawing me closer to her. _'I have to go, before I screw this up.'_ The thought pulling me from acting on my emotions. The longer I stay, the greater the chances of me sleeping with her and I don't want that.

"Would you want to go out again?" I ask quickly. Pulling back, trying to place a little distance between us.

"Yes," She sits up a little taller, her smile reaching her eyes making her squint.

"Good. I do too. But I should get going." Fighting against every impulse to stay here, with slowly to the front door, dreading to leave her. A flurry of things to say come rush to mind as I pull on my shoes and retrieve my keys.

"Thank you for tonight. I had a great time." She tells me while opening the door, she is leaning against the edge of the door. Creating a barrier between myself and her. Her facial expression emits desire, but her body language tells me she is unsure or closed off.

"I am looking forward to seeing you again." I trying to keep my cool. A pregnant pause settles between us. She bites the inside of the corner of her lip. Taking a chance and a step forward, my heart is pounding out of my rib cage I lean against my forearm on the edge of the door. Kate titling her head up, her lips are slightly parted and full. Her eyes are closed and I can feel the warmth radiating off from her body. Leaving my eyes open taking in everything about her as my lips are descending on hers. Her lips are soft, sending an electric charge through my entire body. My body reacts, I am instantly hard, moving my lips against hers. My hand is glides across her neck and my hand cradling her head. Her mouth opens to into mine, sharing a breath between us and I feel her tongue slip cross my lips. Wishing that the door wasn't in the way, I want to pull her closer to me. Craving her body against mine. Pressing my lips to kiss her one last time before breaking our physical bond. "Good Night Kate," I whisper to her.

"Good Night Joseph." She smiles up at me. Walking away, knowing I need to place as much distance between myself from her. She lingers conceal behind the door as I climb into my truck. Her front door is closed and every ounce of my body screams for her. Already craving for the next time I see her.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

My eyes pop open, I don't even bother with an alarm. My internal clock knows exactly what time it is. The digital clock shines brightly that it is 430 am. _'It's time for PT.'_ I think to myself, feeling rested. No nightmares that found their way into my blissful sleep. Which after everything last night is a huge surprise. Being in a crowded place, the assholes at the bar and Kate. Especially Kate. I mentally prepared last night for an assault from the ones I couldn't save. Those mornings when the dead pay a visit, I wake up in a pool of sweat like I pissed myself, and I can't move. There is an indivisible megaton brick sitting on my chest. My body fights to breathe as the flashes of friends, soldiers, children are at my knees, their blood covering my hands as I fight to keep them alive, but I can't save them.

Swinging my feet off the bed, and start my day. After years of being a soldier physical training or pt is just a part of everyday life. Just because the team is on leave doesn't mean we stop doing what we live for. Training makes us better, and the better we are the more lives we can save, and we get to put the bad guys into the ground. Also, mean we live to fight another day.

Within minutes, I have my workout gear on, headphones in and I am out the door. The building's gym isn't packed at this hour, but it will be in the next hour. There is a Warrant Officer from a couple doors down from Jaz running on the treadmill. If Jaz was here, she would be over on the mats, barefoot and going toe to toe with a bag and most the time I would be there with her. The thought makes me smile, and suddenly a pool of sadness fills my chest, I miss her, and the rest of the team. Normally I won't feel this way while on leave, I would be too busy being intoxicated or too deep into a one night stand to miss any of them. Being here without them, like this makes me miss them. I shake my head trying to shake off the sudden mood and hop the treadmill up, at the opposite end of the row from the Warrant Officer.

Wrapped up my work out before 6 am, the whole workout feeling like I was just going through the motions. My sadden mood affecting my workout. Unable to focus, completely losing myself in the dark hole that was cratering in my chest. It was only when the gym door slammed closed when another soldier entered. Jarring my thoughts from sad one to good ones and last night plays like a highlight reel. Kate is the star of the night. The last 6 miles on the treadmill that's all could think of. The want to see her again continue to grow with every step. Even on the drive to the DIA, her smile and that kiss were on replay in the forefront of my mind. Making me want her even more. Taking a couple deep breaths before walking into work. I don't want Director Campbell to think I am distracted or complacent. I am here representing Dalton and the rest of the team.

Walking into our small unused office for Team 7, it feels so much bigger now that it is only me. This could be the first time that I am in here without a single member of the team. Dalton's desk is the furthest desk in the room, the back corner his dress uniform hangs up behind his desk. To the right of his desk is Preach's desk, you can tell by the pink and purple drawings that are taped up on the wall behind. In front of Top's desk is Jaz and Elijah's desk faces hers, or now Amir's desk. When Elijah was alive, Jaz and he would play shoot rubber bands at each other or kicking finger footballs through makeshift field goals. They rarely did any real work when we had to be here. Most of the time we bullshitted until we deployed or finished our mission reports. This is just another temporary space that I spend time in. In front of Preach's desk is my own, in-between our desk is a black leather massage table. It's my very own exam room if needed. Or the place that naps would occur.

I don't even have my CAC card in the computer yet when a Knock, Knock is tapping on the open door.

"McGuire, you know being on leave means not having to work or come in.?" Deputy Director Campbell, standing in front of my desk glaring at me over her glasses.

"Yes, Ma'am. But I wanted to send a status report about Preach. In an official manner." Now standing behind my desk with hands pin to my sides and heels together.

"Relax. You're on leave, you shouldn't even be here. I got your text about Preach being able to breathe on his own. Anything new?" She asks, now leaning against the leather table. Taking the motion from her, I relax my stand, with my hands on my waist and glad I made the right choice by coming in civilians and not in uniform.

"No Ma'am. Him being taken off the ventilator is great progress. Now we are just a waiting game as his brain and body heal on its own." As a medical professional, I know this to be true, but Preach is my brother and I hope he wakes up soon. "He is probably teaching us a lesson on patience." I tell her jokingly.

"Probably." She tells me. Her face is cringing and her head tilts to her shoulder. Eyes squeezed shut and lips pressed into a hard line. Slowly changing gears going from superior and soldier to patient and medic. Wheeling my chair next to her.

"Have a seat." I ask, though I really wasn't asking. She tried to wave me off, but eventually, she sat down. I squatted down next to her, counting her respirations carefully taking her pulse.

"McGuire, I am ok. The tinnitus comes and goes. I am really fine." she straightens up, but remains sitting. I worry if the tinnitus is causing other symptoms like vertigo or hearing loss.

"Would you like something to drink? I can get you a bottle of water. It could help with the ringing." I ask, repeating her pulse and respirations in my head.  
"No, thank you." She slowly stands. I wish she would have taken leave, more then the four days she spent in the hospital in Turkey. She is clearly still recovering from the blow to the head.

"Now, send your official update on Preach and go home. Enjoy your time away. And I better not hear that you're spending all your free time sitting bedside with Preach." She gives me a very motherly pointed finger as she leaves the office.

After the report has been sent and playing catch up on classified email traffic. Hannah has been busy, by the number of emails she has sent since she and Amir are on an intel and recon mission together in Germany. By the sounds of things, we could get sent on a mission, even before our next deployment. Since Preach is down Hannah was green lite to go back into the field for recon and Intel, and couples draw less attention then someone being solo, and Amir volunteered to go with her. They are tracking a weapons dealer, that is only known by name and only been seen in public once, almost ten years ago. They believe this is the man responsible for supplying Al-Qaeda and Al-Shabaab with their weapons. If they can take down this one man, then they will weaken the entire network. Pushing all possibilities, good and bad to the back of my mind.

Leaving the DIA, Director Campbell condition weighs heavily on my mind. I can't make her do anything, she is my boss and a grown woman. I wish she would take care of herself. A strong-willed woman they will do exactly what they want. Reminding me of 'Kate,' just like that she is in the forefront of my mind again. 'Good morning. I hope you got some good sleep.' Quickly I thumb out a message. It was barely a second goes by when my phone chimes.

 _'Morning'_  
 _'I did'_  
 _'You?'_ Kate replies back.

 _'It was restful. What are you up to today?_ ' Faith swells in my chest.

 _'I got called in.'_ She quickly replies back. My chest sinks knowing that she would be at work all day.

 _'Sorry. Lots of babies today?_ ' Little disappointed she won't be available until tonight. Making plans for what I could do her after her shift.

' _Yes. 1 so far. 2 on the way. ; )'_ The smiling emoji makes me smile. I don't want to keep her because she is at work.

 _'Busy day for you. I won't keep you. Don't drop any of them.'_ I tell her.

The phone begins to ring over the speakers in the truck. My mood switches quickly from flirtations to guilt. _A. Dalton_ flashes on the screen of my head unit. _'Shit_ ' I think to myself.

"Hey Top. Aren't you supposed to be enjoying nature are something?" I answer the phone, trying to cover my guilt. Knowing it wouldn't matter.

"Morning McG. How is Sandra doing?" Dalton asks about Preach's wife. Of course, he called, the report covers what is new with Preach and what is his prognosis. But doesn't update the command on Preaches' family. There is a lot of noises coming from the background, sounds like kids playing or arguing. "Sorry about the noise."

"Sandra is doing good. Her sister, you know the crazy one that Preach can't stand? Well, she is here helping her with the girls so she can spend time at the hospital without worrying about them. The doctors here are hopefully after the swelling goes down that Preach will wake up on his own. Also, they have people from his church sitting with him the times that Sandra isn't able to be there. Someone is always there with him. I have the number to the nurses' station, call in the evening to check in on him." Giving him as much of a detail report as possible. With all the noise in the background, I wonder where Dalton is at?

"Calling to check on him or calling to check out who the nursing staff is? Because I have seen Preaches nurses, McGuire." Dalton jokes on the other end. I force a laugh but not sure what to say. If he only knew, what nurse I was trying to get with.

"What are you saying, Top? I have a type?" I question.

"Woman is your type." He laughs on the other end.

"You know me," I reply, I don't want to lie but I also don't want to jump the gun before I know what status is with Kate. Eventually, I will have to tell him.

"Just don't do anything that will screw up the care Preach is getting or that will cause an international incident." Dalton jokes, knowing too well what international incident he is referring too. The kids in the background getting louder.

"I won't. Top, where are you at?" I question.

"My sister's. Her twins have the run of this place." He jokes though.

"I will call you if there is anything drastic change in Preach's condition." I tell him.

"I would appreciate it. Talk to you soon." Dalton hangs up. The line beeps as the call ends and the radio switches back on.

Less than a second later my phone chimes.  
 _'I won't.'_ Kate's message reads with an emoji with a tongue sticking out. The want to see her grows. Its hard knowing that she will be at work all day.

I manage to find my way up to the third floor, standing in front of the locked double doors of the labor and delivery ward. I pressed the intercom. "How can I help you?" A crackle of voice asks.

"I am here to see Kate Dalton." Giving my reply. The sound of the doors buzzing unlocked, opening the door to the calmest Labor and Delivery ward I have ever seen. In my mind, there should people running around, screams from different rooms as mothers labor and newborn cries filling the air. I pictured total chaos but then again I only have ever worked in combat zones.

"Hello, what patient are you here to see?" Said a voice from a woman sitting at the desk, I can only see the top of her head.

"Yes ma'am, I am here to see Kate Dalton. She's a nurse working today." I tell the nurse.

"Yes. Kate is in the middle of delivery currently. If you want to take a seat in the waiting room." The nurse pointing to the room filled with chairs across from the nurses' station. "I will let her know that you are here when she is out."

"Thank you, ma'am." Wondering in slow paces to the waiting room. Sitting at the far end was a family, with balloons stating 'It's a Girl' on them. From the look of it, they have been here all day. I smiled at the family as I take my seat on the opposite end. I sit patiently stroking my hands back and forth on the top of my thighs, mostly watching the activity in front of me. It was nearly 45 minutes later when Kate walks up to the family, wearing turquoise blue scrubs a cloth hair cover, a surgical jacket, and disposal shoe coverings.

"Bethany Keith's family?" Everyone is on their feet, an uncertain tension filling the room, Kate giving no indication if this is going to be good news or bad. " Mom and baby are doing good. The surgery went textbook. Dad and baby are heading up to the nursey and Mom will be out of recovery soon. Congratulations!" One of the new grandmothers hugs Kate, catching her off guard and a smile pulls cross her face.

That is the moment, her eyes catch mine. A bigger smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. "The oncoming nurse will let you know when she is back in her room." She tells them, before moving towards me. Getting to my feet as she approaches me giving her a small wave. "Hi." I manage, she is breathtaking. Without a word she takes my hand and pulling me behind the nurses' station, ignoring the looks from the nurses at the desk and through a combination door. From the look of it, this is the break room, with wall lockers and a set of bunk beds pushed against the walls. A circular table in the middle of the room with mismatched chairs around it. Kate pushing the door closed behind us.

"What are you doing here?" Kate asks. Her question and facial expression gave me conflicting feelings. Sensing I have made a bad choice, by coming here and surprising her.

"I wanted to see you." I tell her. Kate is pulling off her cloth cap, her curly hair pulled back into a low ponytail. The cloth cap and surgical jacket she removing them and tossing them into the laundry bin. Turning around she stands directly in front of me. My palms itch to touch her, slowly I place my hand on her waist and satisfying my craving to feel her.

"Isn't that sweet of you." She takes my hand and holds it with both of her hands. "Here's the thing, I would prefer if you would give me the heads up before coming to see me here, at work. I think it is incredibly adorable. But I just don't want you becoming topic of conversion." She tells.

"Sorry, I thought I would surprise you. Take you to get something to eat after you were done with your shift." I explain. Before I could get out the rest of our plans for the night, she was on her tiptoes, her hands against my chest and her lips on my mine. The whole action was caught me off guard. Both my hands on her waist bring her petite frame closer to mine. As her mouth moves against mine. Her teeth pull at my bottom lip before she releases.

"Give me 20 minutes to finish my charting and to give report, and we can go." She pulls away. "I will meet you out front." She opens the combination door and gives me a smile. I walk towards the double doors, feeling like I am back in middle school again and I told a girl I liked her. Looking over my shoulder and finding her face as she gives a single wave and I leave the ward. I took my time and was slowly leaving, and finding a bench outside near the front doors. The weather is chilly, it's starting to feel like fall. If we are lucky we might actually get to stay for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. Usually, we get called away on mission, or deployment. I just hope this year we will get to be home. Maybe, my mom would come to visit? Maybe she could meet Kate? It would definitely be the first girl she would have ever met.

"Hi." She soft voice catches me off guard. I was lost in thought. The fact I became complacent made the anxiety spike. She sits next to me, placing a hand on my thigh. "How was your day?" she asked. Leaning back, I place my arm behind the top of the backrest and around her.

"You know the usual. Better now that I have seen you." I tell her. Her jacket zipped half way up and she has put some lipstick on and was gorgeous. "How was your day?"

"I need food before we talk about my day." She tells me, hoping to her feet and pulling me from the bench. Mentally I laughing at her, she was like a wildfire spreading and creating her own path and I was there to catch her.  
She really didn't want food as much as she much as she wanted a chocolate milkshake and fries. Finding a bench outside the diner just a few blocks from the hospital.

"So, my last patient, probably the most exciting and terrifying labor I have had in a while. She was making normal progression when baby heart rate started dropping. I went to check mom and mom was dialed to 4cm. I repositioned mom on her left side, and while she was moving her water broke. I went to change out the padding out from under her when I see part of the umbilical cord outside of the vagina. She had an umbilical cord prolapsed. I climbed up on the bed, trying to take all the pressure off the umbilical cord, and we went into surgery. It was the first time I ever had seen one, let alone to reacting to one. It was so exciting and nerve-wracking." Using her hands and fries to tell the story.

"Sounds like you had an eventful day." I tell her, I can't stop watching her. She is dipping her fries into her milkshake.

"And I didn't drop a single baby today." She brags, biting the end of the fry. 'God she has no idea what she is doing to me.'

"I say you should just wear a big baseball mitt and catch the babes as they shoot out." I joke with her, trying to take my mind off the effect she is having on me.

"They don't shoot out. But I would love to see the day you deliver a baby." She is smiling and being extra flirtations with me. Strands of curly hair falling into her face. Without thinking my hands are mindless as I am tucking the curls away from her face.

"Joseph, what do you want this to be?" She asking the question that I have been wanting to ask.

"What do you mean?" I reply after a short pause.

"I don't need you to tell me, we are some middle school boyfriend and girlfriend type but, if this is just a fling until you have orders. I just need to know, its easier for me to know that this has an endpoint rather than thinking this could have the potential to be a long term thing. I just want to know where your head is at with this so I have the same expectations." Sitting there in front of me, on the bench sideways her hand resting against her head. She was open and exposed. Wanting the answer I didn't know how to answer.

"You know that my mom is the only one that calls me Joseph. I can't get enough of you saying it." Placing a hand on her thigh, my thumb rubbing against the seam of her scrub bottoms and a smile pulls at the corners of her mouth. "I don't want to make this complicate it with titles or labels. But I want to spend my time with you and get to know you. Don't get me wrong I can be selfish with my wants and I don't want to share my free time with anyone else but you. You know too well what happens when I get deployed. If you're ok with it, let's keep doing this because I really like what we are doing and we can decide when I have orders in hand. I don't want to set an expiration date on something that could handle the distance and if not, we can take our separate paths as friends." I am pleading that she will want to try.

After a little pause that seemed to stretch into eternity. "Friends?" She questions sarcastically.

"Yea, if this doesn't work?" Feeling like this is going in the wrong direction.

"Joseph, you act like you will be living long enough to be friends after Adam finds out what dirty things we have done." She gives me a flirtatious look. Renewing my hope.

"I haven't done anything other than being a gentleman." I inch my way closer to her, leaning down and giving her a kiss on her lips and tasting her chocolate milkshake.

"Yet. We haven't done anything yet. I have heard stories of the famous ladies' man Joseph McGuire." Space in between us is incredibly close.

"Your brother has a big mouth." Laughing

"Well for your sake let's hope he doesn't find out before we have had our fun." Her teasing turns from humor quickly into desire. She gives me a look that goes directly to my cock. "Why don't we get out of here?"

"Lead the way." She says with a sexy tone.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Once alone in his truck, I can't wait until we get to my place. As soon as he closed his door, I climb over the leather center console and straddle him. Pulling at his beard and taking his mouth and grinding myself against him. His member hard and causing all the right sensations. Making me grind hard causing more friction. His hands are roaming over my scrubs top his hands rubbing up and down my shoulder blades and spine. I want him to touch me, I want to feel his skin against mine and I want his clothes off. I want mine clothes off. I want to be naked with him, right now, right here.

The low growl echoes from the back of his throat, his teeth graze my bottom lip. His hands are around my neck forcing my chin up. He tongues along my jaw before taking my earlobe in his mouth. "Your place closer?" He asks. His hands locating my hips and squeezing them down forcing me to grind him harder.

"Yes." I moan though it's unlike me to moan. His hands are rough as he pulls at the waistband of my pants. Finally feeling the burning need for his skin to touch my bare skin. One shoots up under my top and on my back. As much as I want to touch him, he is wanting to touch me. His mouth against mine and our tongues are fighting for dominance. Pulling his shirt away from his belt.

"Whoa, whoa. Time out." Joseph breathes. "Time out. Let's pause this before we get arrested." He tells me nodding out the windshield. Meekly I look over my shoulder and I find Frank the hospital security guard walking the parking lot. Joseph smiles and I can't help but laugh, as I unattached myself from him and climb back into the passenger seat.

Fumbling with my keys I can't get the right key in the doorknob. Joseph's beard is brushing against the back of my neck and he is breathing into my hair. His body pressuring into mine. I can't think straight. One hand holding my hip and the other one under my top his flat palm pressing against my stomach, holding me in front of him. His erection pressing against my lower back. Finally, I have the right key in the doorknob. Joseph slamming the door behind him closed. I drop everything that was in my hands onto the floor. Joseph pulling off my jacket and letting it fall to the floor. The lights are off, my hands are on his biceps and I can feel how muscular he is. _'GOD his arms are massive._ ' I thought to myself. Joseph stumbles a little, forcing me back against the wall. Stepping out of my shoes, Joseph stumbles again as he tries to do the same. I giggle at him. "You think that's funny?" he asks. Its dark but I know he can see my Cheshire smile. In one swift motion he lifts me up by my thighs and my legs are wrapped around his waist. I hold on tight to him and we walk down the dark hallway and gracefully carrying me up the flight of stairs. His hands are cradling my ass. His hands are leaving invisible prints on my skin.

"First door on the right." I direct him. Joseph using his foot to open the door wider. The only light in the room was from the bathroom light. Otherwise, my room is pitch black. If he could see my room he would see an unmade bed, the sheets were a deep purple and the comforter a light purple with more than 10 pillows scattered all over. Joseph laying me down on top of the bed. Taking a step back, the absences of his touch makes me waiting for him more. I can still feel his handprints on either side of my ass. I craved for his touch again. I am already an addict after on hit.

Slowly pulling his shift from over his head and dropping it to the floor. I am perched on my elbows watching him. The bathroom light only providing shadows but I could see the rest of his body matches that of his arms and he is sexy as hell. He is built all over, his hair is a mess and I want to feel his strong body against mine. Getting to my knees, matching his height being on top of the mattress. With a slight jerk of his head, "Your turn." He tells me. Reaching out as he tugs slightly at my scrub top. Pulling off my turquoise top, dropping it on the floor next to his shirt. It wasn't until I looked down that I remember what undergarments I had donned this morning. I was wearing black spandex boy shorts and a front zip sports bra. I have been wet since we got in the truck together. I watch him, as he is admiring me. Neither one of us is touching the other, just mindlessly appreciating each other. I make the next move, sliding my bottoms off. Laying back unsuccessfully trying to being sexy, I couldn't get the bottoms off from around my ankles. I have to kick them off, with Joseph's help he pulls my legs free. A light chuckle comes from Joseph. Pushing myself up to the top of the bed, wanting him to join on it. I pull the zipper down the front of my cleavage opening my bra. Joseph standing at the foot of the bed, unfastening his belt and buttoning his pants, allowing them to fall to the floor. His quads are thick and sexy. His dark briefs containing is an erection. "Condoms?" His words in a soft but spoken in a normal tone.

"Under the sink in the bathroom." He disappears for a moment before coming back with the entire box of condoms. Tearing open the box and removing the single condom package. Removing his briefs, he is completely nude, climbing on top of the bed with me. My heart feels like it is beating out of my chest. Using his teeth he tears open the package, spitting the wrapper from his mouth. It's almost like foreplay watching him seductively rolling the rubber down on his fully erected member. Deliberately he reaches for the top of my panties. His rough fingers sliding against my skin, pulling down from under my ass. I lift my hips and then letting my knees fall open, allowing him to position himself better at my entrance. Laying on top of me, all of his weight being support by his forearm as we are face to face now. His breath is as shaky as mine. "Tell me what you want." He orders in a whisper against my lips. My body is on fire just by touching him. " You." His mouth covers mine, his tongue tastes my mouth and he plunges into me. His cock stretches me, almost causing pain but at the same time sending me so close to an orgasm. His body remains completely still, while his mouth is working overtime on mine. My body grows to accustom to his size. Breaking our kiss is pulling away slightly. "Kate?" He questions searching my face for any pain or discomfort. I can't say a single word, every nerve in my body is tingling, the sensations are too much for me to say anything. I shake my head. Just by the penetration, I can already feel my climax building. It won't take much. It has been nearly six months since the last time I had been with someone.

My legs are wrapped around his waist and my hands press into his back as we find our rhythm together. Starting slowly his moves are gentle with each thrust. His head is pressed hard against mine, kissing, breathing into my hair. We are tangled together. I moan loudly and biting down on to his shoulder. In a quick motion, he is up on his forearms, "You feel amazing." He says breathlessly. With his words, I am sent spiraling into my climax. I clamp around him and waves of pleasure coursing through my entire body, a sexy growl emanated from him. Sitting back on his heels, pulling me on top of his thighs and increasing his thrust. His fingers are cutting into my skin as he holds onto my hips and myself in place. I will have bruises on my skin from where he is holding me. I am holding on to his wrist, my fingernails are digging into his skin. He plunges in and out of me. My body is building again toward my climax, I can't help it, he is making me come undone. I can't believe how amazing he feels, in me. "Joseph" I moan.

"I know, me too." He moans back. "I feel you." One of his hands is gone from my hip and is squeezing my breast. His hand covering more than just my breast. Pushing me closer. "I can't hold out much longer." He tells me, meeting his stare. "Come for me, baby." With that, I black out from the sheer force of my orgasm. His nickname for me sending me into an abyss of pleasure. "YES," I yell. I hear him grunt and I feel his body jerks as he cums with me. Collapsing beside me against the pillows, our legs are intertwined together, his arm draped over my stomach. We lay together breathlessly, enjoying the last of the waves of pleasure.

"Good Job." I pat him on the shoulder. We both laugh. "You too." He jokes back. My fingers on his right shoulder feeling a scar. I trace the scar thinking it would be from a surgery or a bullet wound, but it's not from either one. Its letters, W. M. I trace the bumpy skin. "WM?" I question softly.

"For my grandfather. William McGuire, it was the brand for the ranch." He explains stroking my arm that is draped over him, raising up and placing a kiss on my arm.

"You branded yourself? How old were you?" He is full of surprises.

"It was after he passed when the ranch was sold. I wanted to do something to remember what he represented." He tells me, looking over at me watching me as I am still tracing the initials on his shoulder. "Do you have any tattoos that I haven't seen yet?"

"No. I have thought about it, but never went through with it." I tell him.

"No scars or fun piercings?" He moves slightly, pulling out of me. I wince. He is spooning my back as he wraps his arms around me, kissing the side of my face, behind my ear and in my hair.

"No, I don't have any body art. I know it's a little boring."

"There's nothing boring about it." His nose burying into my hair and I can tell his is falling asleep. His slow breathing lulls me into sleepiness with him.

A loud angry vibration wakes me. I am alone in bed naked still, and Joseph is nowhere to be found. Moving to the end of the bed, sleepily and uncoordinated, laying flat on my stomach as I search for the phone making that horrible sound. Reaching and picking up Joseph's jean, emptying out his pockets finding his phone at is ringing still. Jaz face and number blinks on the screen. When the bathroom door swings open and stands a fully nude Greek God in the doorway. Suddenly I am aware that I am naked holding his phone, forgetting how to speak.

"Jaz?" I mumble.

"Voicemail can get it." He looks at the phone and then placing it back on the pile of clothing. He climbs back into bed. Climbing back to the top of the bed, laying next to his naked body. His hand gently pulls my leg over his hip bone. "I am not ready to have my time interrupted with you yet." He speaks slowly and calmly while stroking the top of my hair. His hand comes to a stop while I listen to the soft snores that rattle deep in his chest. The rhythmic sounds lulling me to sleep.

The phone rings again, jarring us awake. "Joseph the phone." Rubbing his chest. He grumbles as he is having to get up and to find the phone, where he left it on the floor. He stares at the bright screen, one eye closed and the other squinting from the blinding light of the screen.  
"Its work." He tells me. I get the clue, he needs me to stay quiet. "Good Morning Deputy Director." He answers the phone, climbing back into bed with me. I sit up, looking at my watch seeing that it is 0630 am. Internally I groan, all I want to do is sleep with this Greek god of my man. I take in the shirtless man paying next to me. Memorizing the ridges and lines of his muscles on his chest and stomach. His brand on his shoulder, only increasing his sex appeal.

"Yes, ma'am. That's good to hear. What is the next check-in?" His voice sounding more awake, though he is laying in bed, under the covers with a hand over his eyes. "I will be in today, Ma'am. See you then." He tells her, before hanging up the phone and dropping it on the bedside table. Rolling over he cuddles into my stomach. His beard tickles my bare skin. My fingers threading through his hair.

"What time do you have to go to work today?" I ask though I think he is trying to go back to sleep.

"By 9." He whispers against my skin. "First I think we need to shower." He peers up at me. Giving me a curious look. He doesn't hesitate, he swoops me up into his arms and carrying me to the bathroom. I giggle, and I don't normally giggle. The sound is strange coming from my mouth. This is the first time I am really enjoying this type of attention. I don't know if it is the attention or if it is Joseph, but for right now I am going to enjoy it for as long as I can.

The sunlight was blinding, we are driving to the hospital to pick up my car, where I parked yesterday morning before coming in. Joseph's arm is outstretched over the console both my hands are holding his and my legs are tucked under me. Flashes of us in the shower this morning keeps my mind occupied. Joseph pressing my back against the tile wall with my legs wrapped around him while the warm water washes over us while he thrusts into me. I can't help but smile. This man is full of surprises. He wasn't supposed to be this amazing guy, who wants to spend every night since our first date with me. That is including later today, he is planning to come over after he is done with work. I never had someone that wanted to spend this much time with someone. Even when I dated someone that works at the hospital, I didn't want to spend this much time with them.

Pointing out where my small white Jetta is parked, and want to stay with him. I don't want him to leave. I have never and I don't want to be a clingy type of girl. He pulls behind my car, "It shouldn't take long. As soon as I am done I will come over." He tells me leaning over the console, his hands tracing chin before kissing me. A jolt of arousal shooting through me.

"I can't wait. I will get stuff for dinner." I tell him. The tips of my fingers were pulling on his beard.

"I look forward to it." He tells me before I open the truck door and I hop out. Trying my hardest to not make the mistake and beg him to take me with him. I wave again then dipping into the small compact and I watch as his truck disappears from my rearview mirror. I pull out of my parking space and drive to the grocery store.

Since moving to D.C. it became routine for Adam and myself to go to the farmers market on the weekends together. It was an every weekend thing for us when he is home. It is one of my favorite things we do together. Since Joseph has come into my life I have been a little distracted. I literally have no food at the house, I was a little embarrassed this morning when I only had leftover Chinese from the other night and coffee _. 'The true life of a nurse.'_ I think to myself walking up to the automatic doors and in the reflection, I got a full-length view of my appearance. _'Shit, Why didn't I look at myself before leaving the house. This is the curse of working the night shift, never really having to see people in public._ ' I thought to myself groaning loudly, stumping my feet and rolling my eyes. I pull my hair from the tie and start ranking my fingers through it, trying to bring some order to my lion's mane. I thought the grey sweats and the grass-green Fall-Out Boy t-shirt would look good together, but I am regretting the decision as I grab a buggy from inside and start heading into the produce section.

As soon as I saw the tomatoes, inspiration hit me. TACOS! Quickly I gather the tomatoes, lettuce, avocados, onions, and limes. Praying to God that I don't see anyone that I could know in here. My phone vibrates violently in my pocket, against thigh as I quickly fish it out. It's a text message from Joseph.

'Do you need me to pick anything up?' Joseph asks.  
'No. Just yourself.'

'Are you already done at work?' I message, knowing there is no way he could be already done.

'No, there's an accident on the interstate and it's taking forever to get there.'  
'Was just thinking about you.' He tells me. I smile, probably looking like a psycho if someone looks at me.

In the same moment, my heart skips a beat and then drops to the floor. Adam name flashes across the screen, as he is calling me. I hesitantly answer the phone.

"If I hadn't heard from you soon I was going to call in the National Guard?" I joke with my brother. He was supposed to have called me by now.

"I just got to the cabin." He laughs "Please don't send the girl scouts after me. Sorry, about not calling sooner. Spent a couple extra days with Becca and the twins. Are you just getting off of work?" He asks with a tone worry. He wouldn't have called me while at Becca's, he knows better than to do that. He is just trying to his best to appease both me and Becca.

"No, I worked yesterday. I am doing some grocery shopping." I tell him. Between pushing the buggy with one hand, holding my phone with the other and being careful what I say. Not sure if I should bring up the whole, Joseph McGuire and I went out on a date and have slept together last night. The internal conflict and my non-coordination with this buggy are making my patience much worst.

"That's good stuff. By the way, I have some packages being delivered to your place." Adam tells, though his pause makes me feel like he has more to say. I stop in the middle of the produce. I am overwhelmed and frustrated.

"Adam is there something else on your mind?" I ask. I give up, Putting back the items I had already grabbed and half drag the buggy by to the entrance. I can imagine Adam chewing over what he is about to say. Mentally preparing for what is about to come out of his mouth. Knowing I should probably be alone for this conversation.

"What are your thoughts about settling down? Like marriage and kids with the whole happily ever after." His question throwing her through a loop.

"What are your thoughts?" I ask his question back. I am stalling while walking out into the parking lot, towards my car completely empty-handed.

"I…. What if the things that happened to us growing up has marked us for life and we are unable to have successful relationships now? Do you think broken people can find happiness? I look at Preach and Sandra and their family and wonder what did they do to have a marriage that actually works? They manage Preach's career, their marriage, and three girls and still be happy. Is there such a thing of happiness after the things I have done?" Adam questions, but the slow drag of his words gives me the indication he has been drinking. My warrior brother, that carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and protects the innocence, loves his whiskey and gets in his feelings while sitting on the front porch of his cabin pondering life.

"I don't know." I sitting in my car. Asking myself these same questions. Can marriages work, without one being a drunk jackass the entire time? Are normal marriages like the ones you see on Lifetime movies real? I have had boyfriends, but the thought of marriage scares me. Marriage isn't something that I ever wanted or dreamt of. Those things have always turned my stomach. My mom made us stay with Dad because she made a commitment to him and God. _'Maybe Dad should have made the vow that he wouldn't drink and beat his family._ ' I thought to myself. "Adam, what have you thinking about this?"

He takes a long pause before answering. "Just thinking if someone is out there for me. If there is someone that matches my soul?" I hear his words though I think of Preach's voice is speaking. The person that comes to mind that could match his soul is Jaz. Adam's teammate and only female that will go toe-to-toe with her. By all means, Jaz is perfect for Adam, if she wasn't for her being his subordinate and him being her officer.

"Do you think you could have already met this person?" I ask him. wondering if he is thinking of the same person. A heavy pause is held between us. These questions become unanswerable.

 _'Am I lovable? Can someone with as much baggage and brokenness be loved?_ ' This is an astounding NO in my mind. These are the questions that continued to float in my head after I hung up the phone with Adam. Not hearing his answer I was too preoccupied with trying to answer the same questions. Though I continue to just repeat the question over and over again, hopefully, to fill the emptiness that covers me. I never thought I would use the word broken to describe myself, but when Adam asked 'Do you think broken people can find happiness?' I would have never said Adam was a broken person, but that is the way he views himself. Adam is the one person who put his life together and pulled me from the life I hated, we hated. And still even after all the good he does in the world, he still sees himself as broken. Now as I repeat the word over again in my mind. That word settles on my soul, like a birthmark. A mark I didn't choose but it is still there on me like a reminder, so maybe not like a birthmark but a scare. This time as I whisper the word out loud 'Broken' and I don't feel angry when saying it. Finally saying it, I am at peace with being broken.


	8. Chapter 8

Sitting on the futon in my apartment, wearing my black and yellow PT shorts and one of his unit shirts while playing Call of Duty. Wishing his teammates were around to hang out with while Kate was working. It's the first night that I am spending apart from Kate. She is having to work tonight. 'God I miss her.' I think to myself as I die again on the screen. Not able to really focus, my thoughts are a cloud by Kate.

Though last night she seemed different. She had told me her Dalton had talked but she didn't go into detail. I don't want to prey but I want her to know I am there for her, and I can separate our personal relationship and the professional relationship I have with my team leader, her brother. She seemed far away mentally. She was quiet even I could feel the emotion that radiated off of her. Then a switch was flipped and something changed when we were laying in bed together. I wasn't expecting us to have sex last night, but I wanted to be next to her and just sleep. I know that is strange, but ever since I have met her she has filled a place in me, that I didn't know needed to be filled. Like she is the missing piece to a jigsaw puzzle of my life and now I am complete. My arm wrapped around her bare shoulders, Kate while she wearing a tank top and panties in bed together. Then she was straddled my chest, kissing at the base of my neck. It was slow and passionate. It was the first time that I am have connected with someone like that ever. It was the closest experience I have had to making love.

That word love stands out in bright neon lights with a spotlight shining on it. My feelings for her have begun to transform to something much more than I have expected. Preach would say things along the lines, _'love is a magical thing, you don't know who or what until it is there in front of you.'_ I wished he was awake to help me wade through these feelings.

My phone chines to life pulling me from my thoughts. It's a text message from Kate. _'What are you doing?'_

 _'I am just hanging out? How is work going?'_ I message back definitely missing her more. Imagines of Kate flashing through my mind. My body reacts, I can't help what she doesn't to me. Even when she isn't near me.

 _'Not what I expected. Did you do anything fun this afternoon?'_ She messages back.

 _'Nothing much.'_ I text her back. After spending the night together and most of the morning, I knew she needed to get some sleep before her shift tonight so I left and went to the hospital to visit Preach. He looks better without the vent tubes coming out of his face. I talked with him, told him about Hannah and Amir are in Germany together. Cracking some jokes at their expense. I told him about Kate and how she makes me feel. But it was hard not hearing his advice, making me miss him more. On my drive to my apartment, I called Jaz. After being on the phone with her, making me miss my teammates that much more. Jaz offered to come back early, but I know she needs this time away from work and has the space to process everything that had occurred from deployment. Sitting at the laptop countertop of my kitchen, scrolling through emails. Getting the panicked feeling about Hannah and Amir's intel, the mission could happen a lot faster. Mixed emotions swarming, happiness that my teammates would be home sooner than expected, then sadness pooling in my chest just as fast replacing the panic, thinking about the team. Our team going out on mission without Preach. I miss my team and Kate. Breathing out the sadness, count to ten and sit down to play Call of Duty. Needing put to put thought feelings and thoughts into a box and put the lid on it and letting my mind to think about nothing for a while.

 _'Did you get some sleep?'_ I thumb out a message as I toss my game controller on my tough box in front of me.

 _'Sort of. You have any plans for tonight?'_ She quickly messages back.

 _'No. I wishing I could be with you.'_ I message back, forgetting about my game and focusing on the blue bubble that blinks on my screen. A soft tap knocked on my door.

Opening the door out in the hallway. Leaning against the door frame is the beautiful blue-eyed woman looking up at me, wearing her navy blue scrubs and her gray jacket zipped up halfway, her hair French braided down the back and her bag slung over her shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered. Leaning against the door frame peering down at her soft face. She has a mischiefs smile making me smile too.

"They overstaffed and I volunteered to go home. So I came here." She tells me. She leans in closer to me, her hands on my chest as she bites into her lower lip.

Quickly I wrap an arm around her shoulders and pulling inside my apartment. "Thank god," I tell her. I pull her into a hug, her small frame pressed against my body and I inhale her scent. Its something flowery and simple. My hands lightly touch her face as I kiss her lips and her tongue slides against mine, as her hands slid down my lower back. I could get used to this type of greeting.

I pull away, taking her bag from her shoulder a smile stretching across my face. It is a lot heavier then I expected. "Your whole life packed in here?" I ask setting it on of the counter of the small kitchenette, closing my laptop and moving it away.

"Pretty much. Never know how long I could get stuck at work." She smiled, her arms wrapping around my waist.

"Let me see what you have in here." I test the waters, just happy she is here with me.

"Enter at your own risk. Not sure what you will find in there." She tells me. She loses her grip from me and leans against the counter and starts playing with the zipper of her jacket.

I pull out her teal stethoscope, ID badge in which the clip is a felt band-aide with a pink bow and smiley face, a pair of compression socks, a protein bar, medical scissors, clear medical tape, her wallet, toothbrush case, and a clear smaller bag. Inside the clear bag were a hairbrush, deodorant, and tampons. I blush a little, knowing that it is something to not be embarrassed about. I pull out a water bottle and a smaller pill bottle medicine bottle. I look at the label, Low-Ogestrel. The medical part of my brain processing that these are her birth control pills and setting them down on the counter with everything else from her bag.

Playfully, I tip the bag upside down and giving it a gentle shake. "Where is the baseball glove?"

"No baseball glove." She rolls her eye. My eyes settle back at the medicine bottle on the counter.

"Sergeant McGuire those are birth control pills." She tells me in a teacher like voice. "You want to ask me about them or the tampons? Do you need some education on what they are for?"

"No, I am sorry. I didn't think about it. I…. I don't know why I am embarrassed about this." I tell her, knowing my face is red and my ears start to feel hot. "I am a medical professional," I say with a laugh and now Kate is laughing with me. Jaz has always been embarrassed about this part, making me a little embarrassed about it as well. I haven't had to deal with a female that is open about it, not in this way. Not like Kate.

"Well, these" she holds up the clear bag with the tampons. "Are for mother nature like to come and pay a visit. And these" now holding up the birth control pill bottle. "Are to help me try a stay consist with my menstrual cycle but working in L&D and with other women make it nearly impossible. Also to prevent pregnancy. Because let's be honest condoms are sometimes forgotten and the pull-out method isn't 100% foolproof. " She is having to wipe the corners of her eyes laughing but trying to give me a lesson on these items. I can't help but laugh with her.

"Thank you, Nurse Kate, on the informative lesson. I feel more knowledgeable about the subject." I enjoy hearing the sound of her laugh.

"Just let me know if you want me to educate the rest of the team." Our laughs slowly die, and Kate's being to fidget with the zipper part of her jacket.

Reaching out I slowly take her hand in mine and guide her hand down, pulling the zipper to the end. "I wouldn't mind some one-on-one tutoring," I tell her, as she steps closer. My mouth hovering inches from hers.

"Where should we start?" Her hands fidgeting with the hymn of my t-shirt.  
Without answering, lifting her off her feet by the backside of her legs just under her ass cheeks. Her legs wrap around my waist and her fingers dig into my back, her mouth finding mine. Maneuvering around the futon and the tough box and laying her on my bed. "I think we should start with the female anatomy," I ask moving backward, kneeling on the floor in front of her, her legs dangling off the edge of the mattress. Her feet hanging above the ground, not touching. Pulling the string undone at the top of the scrub pants.


	9. Chapter 9

Parking near the entrance of the hospital, I try to get as close as possible to the door without blocking it. It's been raining all day, and Kate is about to get off from her shift. Its only been a couple of weeks but since our first date at Dave and Buster and now she is my whole world. I could not imagine my life without her in it every day. Even the days she sleeps all day because of her nights. The nights she is working I toss and turn unable to get restful sleep because she isn't here without me. Right now we live inside this bubble where its just Kate and myself, and nothing else in the world matters. I do the bare minimum for my responsibilities with my job and Kate goes to work, but only the days she is scheduled to work. We are trying to figure out how this could work when we reenter reality. Especially when I have to return to work, and when her brother Adam returns. The thought makes me worry and causes my anxiety to build up inside.

Anytime my anxiety begins to start, I practice my breathing technique by taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly counting in my head to 5 and keep doing this until I don't feel anxious. I only have 3 weeks left in my leave and our bubble is about to burst and I will have to share my time with Kate. I don't even want to think about how much time I will have before I have to for deployment. Kate and I agreed that we would evaluate our relationship when my orders come in for deployment.

Through the wipers of the shield, I see her coming towards me. She jogs and trying to shield herself from the downpour of rain. She quickly opens the door and climbs in. Her face and hair slightly wet, but she is still gorgeous.

"I think Mother Nature forgot that is the Washington D.C. and not Washington State." She tells me closing the door. Her navy blue scrubs are wet and clinging to her body. I lean over the center console, she meets me halfway and our lips meet. Any anxiety that I was having is gone. That moment my body reacts and I can't help myself, I want her here and now. Right now. My right hand in reaching up into her damp hair, pulling her closer to me. My other hand slides up her thigh until I find my favorite spot on her, her hip bone. Parting her lips, she hums into my mouth as she plunges her tongue across my lips. Her actions shoot directly to my groin.

BEEP, BEEP. The sound of an ambulance pulling in next to us. Making us break apart, I want her and she bites her lower lip mirroring my expression. The EMTs walking passed the truck reminding me that we are in a very public place.

"How was your day?" I ask her. I have to reposition myself to accommodate my hardon.

"It was good. I have been thinking about going to days in the Emergency Department. There is an opening." She tells me a matter of fact. She has slipped off her shoes and her feet are tucked under her as we start driving away.

"Really? I thought you love working nights?" I question her. Though I have a feeling that maybe she is wanting to spend more time with me. Or at least I hope.

"I do, but I want to spend time with Adam when he gets back, I would like to spend more time with you rather than sleeping all the time." She explains quietly. My heart soars. She still wants to be with me when her brother gets home. Like me, she can see us together down the road.

"I have a surprise for you," I tell her, though the rain kind of has ruined it. I hope she doesn't look too hard in the backseat and doesn't notice the picnic that I pack for dinner.

"What is it?" she questions, her voice is full of excitement.

"You will have to wait and see," I tell her as we start to drive away from the city. She plays with my phone and playing different songs. At least we share the same taste in music, and she doesn't force me to listen to this new country-pop, were every song sounds the same. I love listening to her sing as we drive. ' _God she is perfect._ ' I think to myself as we pull up the hilltop park that overlooks the city. The park is empty and the light posts just flickered on. We missed the sunset and the sun has almost disappeared behind the horizon. And it is still raining.

"The weather isn't working with me. But I have packed turkey sandwiches, chips, grapes, and strawberries. I thought we could have a picnic and watch the city light up with the night." I tell her, her face lighting up with a smile that radiates all over her body.

"Joseph, babe that so sweet." She says as she is unbuckling her seat belt and climbing over the center console and covering my face with kisses. I love when she does this, she plants kisses both my cheeks, my forehead, nose and then kissing my lips passionately. I am hard again just by her touch. "You incredible." She gives me a quick kiss.

I have no self-control. I pull her into my lap. She giggles in surprise. Matches my craving, she crashes down on my lips and her tongue moving against mine. I just want to feel her skin on mine, I want to be inside of her. She starts pulling my shirt over my head and starts attacking my chest and neck, kissing, sucking and nipping on my exposed skin. Everything she does makes me want her more. I have no control when I am with her. Not having control is something foreign to me, but when I am with her I feel safe and I love the fact she takes the lead.

Looping my thumbs inside of her scrub pants pulling them down. Kate having to sit on top of the center console to take off her bottoms. Tossing her bottoms and panties back behind me. Unbuttoning, arching my hips up to pull my own jeans down by my ankles. Pulling her back on top of me, I am dive into her. Relishing in the feel of being inside of her. "Shit Kate, Condom." Realizing quickly that I forgot that part. I start trying to pull out, lifting her up off my lap and off my cock.

"On the pill." She breathes into my ear. Taking my earlobe in-between her lips and begins sucks. Making her slow descent onto my cock, taking me completely. My breathing is sharp and quick and I fill her. This being the first time I am without a condom with her. Normally I don't trust women enough take them at their word when they say that they are taking the pill or any birth control, but Kate is smart and I do trust her. I love her. That thought scares me more. It would be one thing to fuck someone and leave the next day in another thing to have this hot burning sensation every single day that I am with her and I don't have to be Walter or lie about who I am or what I do. I am just myself when I am with her. God, I want to be with her every day for the rest of my life.

Kate rides my cock. Sliding up and down, moving quickly. Grabbing her hips guiding her up and down, her hands in my hair pulling the face up to hers. God YES. Her mouth lowers to mine. Trying to hold out for her, wanting her to come for me. Taking some slow deep breaths while she rides. She is making it so hard not to cum. Biting my bottom lip as I dive deeper into her matching her rhythm. The hungry moans she breathes against my mouth I know she is close to the edge.

"Come for me," I whisper against her collarbone, taking the sexy place in between my lips and sucking. Sucking hard enough that a mark will be there. "Joseph" my name is on her lips, as her walls clamp down and she falls over the edge of her orgasm. Thrusting deeper into her coming with her.

"God you know how to get me going," I tell her. She is breathing heavy on my chest, her aroma fills my senses. Her normal scent is the most intoxicating scent I have ever had the pleasure of inhaling. Though I could smell the hints of antiseptic from her job lingers on her. Pulling her hair away, exposing her ear and neck to me, my lips burn against her skin.

"Can you hand my pants? Please?" She asks calmly against my chest. Against my will, I do what she asks and blindly reaching behind me fishing them from the backseat. She is off of me and I am out of her. Instantly feeling like part of me missing. Back in her seat pulling her panties and scrub bottoms pulling them up and over her glorious hips. I watch her dress while I do myself. She is siren and I am drawn to her song. "Kate, I.." Before I could finish my phone rings over the Bluetooth. Seeing that it's the hospital that Preach is being cared at. Pressing the button on the steering wheel.

"Hello?" I said in a deep tone.

"Hello, I am looking for Sergeant Joseph McGuire?" A woman said. I see a huge smile pulling across Kate's face.

"Speaking"

"This Bailey, I am Ezekiel Carter nurse." With those words, I am filled with dread. "Just wanted to give you an update. Ezekiel is awake and responsive. We have already called his wife and she is on her way." Forgetting how to breathe. He is awake. Preach is awake and alive.

"That is great news. I am on my way." I tell her. Looking over at Kate, she is just as shocked as I am. Hanging up the phone, and throw the truck in gear and race towards my teammate.

Standing at the mouth of the Preach's room, normally I would just walk in and sitting in the armchair next to his bed. I would talk about life, wishing and hoping he would wake up and give me the advice that I needed. Recently I told Preach about my relationship with Kate and ask unanswered questions. But mostly craved for his approval. Slowly I step into his room and my anxiety is building like bricks weighing down my every step.

There he is sitting up in the bed, a little thinner in the face but all the same its Preach. "McGuire?" The voice that I have missed hearing and feared that maybe would never hear again. I lose all composure and giving him a hard hug. "Man it is good to see you." I choke out. Not caring my eyes are tearing up. This man that nearly paid the ultimate sacrifice doing his job and protecting the ones he loves. "How are you feeling?"

"Little out of it." Preach is smiling. Sitting down in the armchair behind me.

"That's to be expected. Right? You were out of it for…"

"I don't actually want to know." With a raised hand to stop me. "I just want to see my wife and girls." Suddenly the feeling of guilt beings to wash over me. He hasn't been in a coma for long, but long enough for his family worry about not getting him back.

The sound of a stamped echoing the hallways coming to a stop at his doorway. "Daddy" and "Sweetheart" cheering. Preach's wife and 3 daughters are crowding around him. Leaving Preach and his family to have their much-deserved reunion. Pausing at the doorway taking in the imagine of Preach and his family together. Taking a mental photo, and sharing in the feeling of having Preach back.

In the waiting room down the hallway from Preach's room is Kate. She takes my breath away every time I see her. She is wearing one of my sweaters, it is more of a mini dress on her. I'm sure when she had put it on it. The sleeves are rolled back and the bottom hem almost touching her knees. Covering all my favorite parts of her.

"So? How is he?" She asking.

"He is awake. Sandra and the girls just got here. They are with him now." I tell her. The feeling of disbelief at the forefront. I am having a difficult feeling like this could be a dream and my alarm is going to go off and wake me. With the evening I just had with Kate, making love to her in the park and now one of my closest friends waking up from his coma. It's all too good to be real, right?

"Why don't we find his nurse and get an update from her. Before you call your boss and Adam?" She is guiding me to the nurse's station. Her reminding me about the job part that I have to do, makes me push through the fog and start thinking more clearly.  
Behind the nurse's station is a nurse sitting at a computer, I assume she is charting. Clearing my throat "I am looking for Ezekiel Carter's nurse." I ask. Pulling Kate under my arm, the urgent feeling of needing her as close as possible to me.

"I am Bailey, his nurse." She tells me.

"Great, I am Sergeant Joseph McGuire. We spoke on the phone earlier. I am needing to update our command about his status. What is his new prognosis?" I ask. Both Kate and I are waiting for the medical jargon so we can completely understand the status of our friend.

"He woke up, on his own. His motor and speech skills are intact, he able to move all of his extremities. We haven't gotten out of bed, so we don't have an assessment of his weight-bearing or his mobility yet. My hope is first thing in the morning we have physical therapists assess and hoping to get him home." The nurse finishes explaining.

"Great. With that all being said, be prepared for visitors. There are a lot of people that love him and will be up here to see him." I tell her.

"We will be fully prepared." She smiles at me. Stepping away from the counter and slowly moving towards the waiting.

"I am gonna have to make some phone calls. You mind hanging out for a while longer?" I ask her. Already knowing what her answer is going to be.

"Of course. You start making those phone calls and I will go and get us something to drink." She tells me, reaching up on her toes and giving me a quick kiss. Then she is gone, walking down the hallway away from me. I am lost for a moment in knowing what I had to do next but my anxiety rising inside of me. The little bubble that we have lived in the last few weeks, starts slipping through my fingers like sand.  
First I call Deputy Director Campbell office number, when that goes to voicemail I try her cell phone.

"Patricia." She answers.

"Deputy Director Campbell, its McGuire. I have an update about Preach."

"What do you got McGuire?" She asks him.

"Preach is awake and talking." I tell her. A strange emotion comes over me and I start to tear up again though there is a long pause causing me to worry. "Ma'am?"

"I heard you, McGuire. His wife has been called?" She asking. A rustling sound echoing in the background.

"Yes, she and their daughters are here now with him." I inform her.

"Good. Medically?"

"Everything so far looks like it is intact. They will a better update for us tomorrow once Physical Therapy can assess him." Giving her the report.

"Send a detailed email and I will pass it to my higher-ups, make sure you send a copy to Hannah. Go ahead and call the team. I know everyone will want to know. Also, McGuire don't spend the night at the hospital. You are going to have a busy next couple of days, your gonna need your rest." Deputy Director orders me, using that mom voice.

"Yes, Ma'am." I reply and the phone goes dead on her end. After that, I called Dalton, who starts packing up and heading back. Then Jaz, she couldn't decide if she was going to book a flight so she could be back in the next few hours or drive back from New York. After a 20-minute conversation finally having her driving her truck back, so she can be back that same time as Dalton. Also, I don't have to get her from the airport at an ungodly hour. Kate returns with coffee, one black for me and another heavy with cream that the coffee isn't even tan, its practically white. I give her a kiss thanking her for the coffee while I type out the email that Director Campbell requested, copying Hannah on it so she and Amir get the update. If their mission is close to being done, then I would wrap things up so they could come back sooner. Kate sitting waiting patiently. _'She is too perfect_.' I think to myself.

"I am going to say bye to Preach and then we can go." I tell her, leaving her in the waiting room. Slightly tapping on the open door, five pairs of teary eyes look up at me.

"Sorry, I am going to head out. I will see you in the morning with the team in tow." I explain, remaining at the door frame not wanting to take any time away from Preach being this his family.

"That is wonderful. See you in the morning brother." Preach giving him a cheerful smile from his bed.

My girl is waiting for me where I left her. Her arm wraps around my waist, her smile is a false one. It's doesn't reach her eyes. I know exactly how she feels. Our time being together is about to end. Our bubble has popped, it is a matter of hours before everyone will return from leave and keeping our relationship from the team and Adam will be more difficult. Those are tomorrows' problems. Tonight is the last night I will have with her, and I won't have the stress of the team returning ruin our last bit of time we have.

 **Author's Notes**

 **YEA! Preach is awake!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The alarm goes off, and I am not ready for what today is going to bring. "Are you up?" her sleepy voice asks.

"Yes baby. I am about to get up." I roll over placing a kiss on her bare shoulder. Inhaling her scent. I hold her and not knowing when the next time I will be able too. I barely slept last night knowing this would probably be the last time for a while that I would be staying here. Tonight, I will be sleeping alone in my barracks room. Without her. Our bubble is about to burst and I am not ready to have less time with her. Our time together was short and now what our new reality is about to set in.

"Did you sleep at all?" She asks, rolling over so she is facing me. Her leg hooks over my hip, bring our bare bodies closer together. I love the fact her sleeps with nothing on, it makes me feel closer to her then I ever thought possible.

"No. Not really." Feeling the weight of today. She replies only with a sigh, though I feel like she is reading my mind. My fingers thread through her hair, I close my eyes as my anxiety continues to build. Using my breathing technique. Her scent fills scenes, something flowery, her body is warm and pressing against mine. This is my happy place. Being with her, in this bed, being naked together. This is the place I will imagine if I am ever captured or being tortured. I let a strange feeling take over me. The only thing I could think it is, is peace. This woman brings me peace in time of stress. She is my light in the darkness. She is the cooling rain after a hot summer day. She is the one that lifts the weight off my shoulders. "You're so beautiful." Push her curls away from her face. The corners of her mouth pulling into a smile.

"What does today look like for you?" I ask her, trying to postpone us having to leave this bed.

"You know, laundry, some cleaning and maybe grocery shopping. Normal day off stuff." Her finger tips tracing the W.M. brand on my shoulder softly.

"I am going to talk to your brother about us." I tell her while playing with her hair. She stills besides me.

"It's your funeral." She jokes. Before unhooking her leg from my body, rolling over and sitting up on the side of the bed. Her bare back is to me and her hands pulling her hair up on top of her head, though missing some small curls at the base of her neck. Steps off towards the bathroom closing the door, leaving me naked and alone in her bed. Feeling confused and unsettled about her words and actions. Like the clam before the storm.

The bathroom door swings open and light floods the room making me squint. Kate is wearing my t-shirt from the night before and a pair of underwear as she storms towards her dresser pulling open draws and slamming it closed.

"Kate?" I ask hesitantly.

"Why?" She asks, while pulling on a pair of leggings.

"What?" I am confused, I was having a good moment with her and now there is an energy coming off of her that I haven't felt or seem before.

"Why do we have to tell Adam? You know he won't like this, whatever this is. Either he will make your life a living hell and mine or he will do everything in his power to make us end this." Her words are fast, while pacing the length of the bed and using her hands to talk as well. She has my attention now. She is not only pissed, but angry. Climbing out of bed and pulling on the jeans that were on the floor. I standing in-front of her and stopping her before she could ramble on anymore.

"Kate, it's the adult thing to do. I have to tell him." My hands resting on her shoulders.

"We don't even know what we are doing here, with us. What are you going to tell him?" She questions, her eyes are wide and fearful.

I know what I want to tell her. I almost told her last night. I want to tell her; I love her and she is the only one for me. I want us to figure this out and see where our relationship takes us. That feels really heavy to tell her right now. This isn't the right time to tell her that. "I will tell him we have gone out on a couple of times and would like to continue to see you." It's not a lie but he doesn't need to know what we do behind closed doors.

"You don't need his permission to be with me. He doesn't have that type of power over me. He isn't my dad. I may date whomever I want." That flare of fire that rose up in Dalton's eyes whenever he was pissed about something is the same look that Kate has in her eyes. Which makes me fear her just as much as I fear Dalton in times like those. She backs out of my grasp. "He will ruin what we have." She tells me, her arms crossed her chest.

"We don't need permission. Though man to man, I have to tell him that his sister is my girlfriend and we will be spending time together." I tread lightly with my word choices. In the moment for the first time there is a label on our relationship, she is someone important to me. No one is going to take away what we have together. "He won't ruin what we have. This isn't a choice for him to make." Stepping closer to her, my hand tilting her chin up at me as my fingers outline her jawline. My heart pounds against my rib cage as I wait for her to tell agree with me. To choose my side.

"Let's wait? Until next week? Please." She asks, with a pleading look in her eyes. Those aqua blue eyes peering up at me, I am sinking into. This intense look she has, I would give her anything and everything. My head and heart are torn. I know what the right thing to do, is to tell Dalton like a man but my heart wants to keep this beautiful woman in front of me part of my life. Fearing the things, she is worried about will come true. That Dalton will make our lives a living hell or makes us in some way break up. I want her in more life more than ever. I give in.

"Fine, but we have to tell him." I tell her. She doesn't speak but stretches on her tip toes, her lips meeting mine. I can taste the mint of her tooth paste on her lips, as my tongue swipes against hers. Feeling fulfilled by her kiss and with her in my arms.

"I bet Amir has only been a gentleman the entire time him and Hannah have been in gone." Preach defeats Amir's absences. Preach is sitting up in his bed, Jaz sitting in the armchair at the foot of his bed, Dalton sitting beside him and I am perched on the window seal. The four of us demolishing our third pizza. The room is light with laughter and each of my teammates are bright a smiling. This feels like before this deployment. Dalton and Jaz are relaxed, shoulders are less tense and heads held high. Not slummed waiting for the next shot to be taken at them. Their time away was good for them. Their whole-body language has changed from when they left to walking in. That phrase 'Time heals all wounds,' comes to mind.

"Amir is a fool if he doesn't at least try." Which is true if Amir doesn't try and get with Hannah, he is a fucking idiot. Hannah is good looking. Our type of conversation picking up as if no time has passed.

"What are you saying McG? Not even a hint of jealously that Amir has gotten to spend nearly 2 months alone with Hannah?" Jaz snaps back. Giving me a curious look.

"I had to help a brother out." Pointing at Preach. "While helping a brother out, because we will know Amir has no game." I joke, our laughs are loud being altogether again.

"Ok, ok. Hannah is good at her job, I bet they are doing the work that is needed for us," Dalton makes a circular motion. "can get back at there and do what we do best."

"I second that." Jaz raising her soda can in the air. There is a brief pause in the air. The weight of deployment or a mission filling the room.

"Hopefully by the end of the week, I will be discharged and home." Preach tells them breaking up the silences of the room. Preach's test have resulted that he has a Traumatic Brain Injury, some memory loss like the events leading up to coma as well as general weakness from his lack of movement from being in coma. The doctors are extremely hopeful that he will regain is strength and will be cleared for Active Duty but it's unclear if he will return. This last deployment was supposed to be his last but I know this isn't the way he wanted to leave.

"With all your time at home, those girls of yours are going to feed and you will never want to eat Jaz's runny eggs ever again." Dalton jokes.

"My eggs are top notch." Jaz giving a small giggle.

"Knock, Knock. I have some meds for you." A curvy nurse comes in, a paper cup in one hand and the clear cup filled with ice water in the other. In a quick motion Preach takes his meds and the nurse disappears from the room.

"McG, are you feeling ok?" Jaz ask him, with a puzzled look.

"Yea. Why?" In a clipped tone and a raise eyebrow. Giving Jaz a puzzled look back. Sitting up a little taller against the window.

"A cute nurse comes in here and you didn't flirt with her. You don't even say anything." Jaz cuts back at me. "You basically were looking at your shoes the entire time she was in here."

"There's a time and a place to flirt. Preach getting is meds is not the time for me to flirt with his nurse." I quickly snap back.

"What about the girl you were with last night?" Preach asks giving me a sideways glance. My heart drops, my blood pressure raises and my palms begin to sweat.

"What?" I ask, shocked that Preach saw Kate last night. The other 'WHATs' were from Jaz and Dalton.

"Yea, last night. She was at the nurse's station with you. Your arm was around her. You kept kissing on her." Preach explains digging me into a deeper grave. 'Holy Fucking Shit!' I can't breathe.

"Who is she?" Jaz questions quickly.

"She is someone I have been seeing since we got back." I tell them. Panic rising up in my chest.

"Your worthless. What did she look like?" She questions Preach now. I feel like I am going to throw up, I was already anxious about talking to Dalton but now Preach saw Kate and me together.

"I just the back side of her. Never saw her face." Preach says. I finally exhale, not realizing I was holding my breath.

"McGuire has a girlfriend?" Dalton questioning in disbelief, everyone giving me a curious look. Their eyes weighing me down. Unable to breathe. Feeling like I have cinderblock strapped to my feet and just got shoved into the deep end of the pool.

"Yes." I tell them truthfully. Some of the weight easing off my chest. My palms are moist and heart beat still pounding inside my ears.

"I thought we would never see the day. When do we get to meet her?" Dalton questions. Only if he knew.

"Me introducing her to this group? Never!" I laugh, with a sigh of relief. While the room once again fills with laughter. Deciding in this moment, I will wait to tell Dalton about Kate's and my relationship.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

His scent covers my pillows and his clothes are on the floor. He sleeps here every night. He has practically moved in with me only after our first date nearly three months ago. Even with the team returning from their leave Joseph only spent one night away. He didn't sleep nor I did that night apart. In this short amount of time he has become the most consist thing in my life. Which increases guilt building inside of my stomach. It makes me nauseous. Even now sitting here with Adam, having dinner. Getting back into our normal routine with him being stateside, though the only difference now is that we do dinner at Adam's. I think it is his way of letting me be more a part of his work life, and even has invited me to hang out with the team. But I decline, not sure if it would be obvious that Joseph and I are together.

"Kate?" Adam asks from his recliner. My attention back on my twin brother. Putting aside my thoughts, bringing me to the present.

"Sorry. What were you saying?" I ask him, placing my plate of food back on his coffee table. Unable to stomach anything else. The bake chicken and roasted asparagus and potatoes would normally look delicious but tonight the smell alone is causing me discomfort.

"Are you ok?" He asks. Giving me his brotherly look of concern. The look I grew to have a love/hate relationship with. This is the look he gave me the first time I applied and didn't get into nursing school. This look is the one he gets before every deployment or school. When he becomes uncertain about his future.

"Yea, I think I may have picked something up from work." I tell him. Which wouldn't be surprising, my new promotion is in the Emergency Department.

"How are you liking being Charge Nurse?" He asks, while taking a sip of his drink without paying any additional attention to me. I tuck my feet under bottom and crawled into a ball. Retracking my hands into my sleeves and placing them under my chin, I inhale the scent of Joseph. Trying to calm my stomach but is not helping.

"I like it, it's a different pace. Less Vaginas." I joke with him. Adam slightly chokes on his forkful of food while laughing. The Emergency Department promotion is only three days and week and it's a day shift. I get more time with Joseph and Adam and I feel like normal person again and sleeping at night. It is amazing what a normal sleep schedule will do. "How's work going?" I ask quickly while he recovers.

"It's going well. You know back to business, training hard and working out the kinks." Adam gives me his soldier-like answer. Though, I already knew that Preach isn't coming back any time soon. Joseph told me about it the other day. Preach is going to finish out his contract and retire. This means their team has been train short a man until Adam can find a replacement. But knowing him, it will be awhile before he brings another new team mate on. Unfortunately, that makes Joseph, Adam's second in command. With that thought, my stomach turning into a horrid knot.

"And your teammates?" I ask bravely. Hoping that it will be a short and sweet answer.

Adam doesn't answer quickly. I watch his body tense and he sigh. Rubbing a hand over his beard. "This time around its more difficult." His voice is low and full with emotion. "Just with everything this last deployment and now trying to find the new groove. I didn't think it would be this hard without Preach. It is one thing to lose Eli at the beginning of the deployment and quickly have to replace him with Amir and then almost losing Jaz. It's hard. It's a mental block I – I can't get over it." I can feel his emotion from 3 feet away. He is mourning another loss. Preach didn't die, but he is losing another teammate, it might as well be a family member or an extension of himself. He is having to relearning how to work his new body of a team as a four-man team instead of the standard five-man team. Plus, Preach has been a part of the team and Adam's life for the better part of 10 years.

"I am sorry." I tell him. Tearing up knowing that my brother is hurting.

"The shocking thing is the team is running better than ever. Amir has picked up Peach's pieces, Jaz is knocking down that everything is coming at her and McG has exceeded my expectations. Something has flipped on for McGuire. He is focused and driven, and picking up like nothing has changed and improved. I don't know why I can't get it together for them. I feel like, I... I am failing them. I can't get past it." I can see the mental an emotion wear on my brother. After everything he has sacrifice for this country and his team, he still feels like he isn't good enough. Reaching out to comfort him, resting my hand on his forearm. Sitting there for a moment letting his confession settle around us.

A wave of nausea raises into my esophagus, my body reacts before my mind does. I am running into Adam's bedroom and into his bathroom. Kneeling on the floor in the dark on the cold floor in front the toilet and emptying my stomach into the bowl. My body heaves forward again. The acid bitter taste burns my mouth as my throat aches and my ears are ringing. Flushing the toilet, wiping my lips and taking my time before getting up to my feet. My head buzzing. After rising my mouth, I make my reappearance from the bathroom.

"You good?" Adam is asking. The brotherly look of concern mixed with the tension of our conversation; he is on his feet nearly bouncing on the balls of his feet, hands pushed down into his front pockets of his trousers.

"Yea. I think it's a bug from work. I am just going to go home. I don't want you to get sick." I tell him while gathering my pursing, trying to get my car keys out and slipping on my toms onto my feet.

"You want me to drive you home?" He offers. But Joseph is at my place and I don't want to tell him this way. We have been able to keep our small bubble intact this long; I don't want to burst it tonight on top of having a stomach bug. We have discussed when we are going to tell him, we just can't find the right time to tell my brother.

"Adam, I can drive myself. Plus, I have to work in the morning. I don't want you to get sick. You already have too much going on. This would be the last thing you need right now. Thank you for dinner. Next week I will cook." I tell him, keeping my distance from him. Feeling crappy about the way I am leaving Adam after his confession. Adam walks me to the door and telling me to get better. Giving him a slight wave as I walk down the hallway. Outside the chilly air of early winter bring my stomach some relief.

20 minutes later I am walking through the front door of my house. Smells like Joseph lite the apple cinnamon candles, his favorite scent foe this time of year. Dropping my purse and shoes at the front door and walking into the living room. My handsome man is sitting back on the couch completely relaxed wearing a pair of basketball shorts a hoodie from a pass unit with piles of folded laundry in front of him on the coffee table. While re-watching _The Office_ again. This place has become his home and it feels more like a home with him in it. 'I love him.' I think to myself.

"Hey Bae, how was dinner with your brother?" He asks. Looking at me as I crumble on to the love seat perpendicular to Joseph. "That bad?" He gives me a raised eyebrow, moving towards me.

"Don't get close. I throw up at Adam's." I tell him. He ignoring what I said about getting close to me.

"What did he make you eat?" Joseph jokes a little, while resting his hand on my forehead and then my neck. I know his is doing a mental head-to-toe assessment on me, while repositioning my head into his lap.

"Chicken and veggies. Nothing special I actually didn't eat any of it." I grumble. Joseph starts running his fingers through my hair and massaging my scalp. "It's probably something I picked from work."

"Have you had any other signs or symptoms?" He asks in a sweet low tone.

"Other than having a headache, I feel fine. But I have been nauseous the last couple of days." I tell him, my stomach rolls and aches just lying on the couch with him.

"I could just be a bug from work. You come in contact with some nasty stuff, plus its cold and flu season." He tells me. I look up seeing his beautiful brown eyes peering down at me. My body tingles with warmth the way he looks at me. My life feels full for the first time with this man. I don't feel alone. The broken parts of me don't feel as big or heavy to carry. Like he accepts me. He has made me feel whole and complete as a person. Never has a man or a boyfriend look at me the way this man looks at me or make me feel the way he makes me feel. He lives here with me, he is folding our laundry, he shares my bed, our bed. He is taking care of me now that I don't feel well. I want him in my everyday life. I know deep inside I love him. But it's too soon to say that to him out loud. It's too soon to bear that part of my soul to him. He could just want to play house with me until his next deployment, then it's over. I don't know how he feels about me. After all we aren't public about our relationship, that would just break me. All of this is too much right now.

"I'm gonna go to bed. Maybe some sleep with magically heal me." I tell him, sitting up and getting to my feet. Cherishing the little moment like this we have together.

"I will be up in a few to join you. Do you want me to bring anything up?" He offers in his sweet tone. Compassion in his eyes as he rubs the back of my thigh. I know deep down inside my soul I know he loves me too.

"No, I just need to sleep I think." I walk away, regretting what I didn't say to him. Regretting that I didn't tell him that I love him. It's been a little too much today. Adam's confession, guilt about keeping my relationship from Adam, falling in love with Joseph but can't tell him and now I have the stomach bug. All of these emotions compound inside making me feel sick again and maybe like I might cry. I don't want to be a crazy person and start crying for no reason.

My bedroom is cleaned up, Joseph made the bed and that makes me love him a little more. All the half drank water bottles have disappeared from my side of the bed. He even picked up the bathroom, I noticed while getting dressed for bed and climbing under the sheets. Setting my alarm for in the morning, knowing I have to get up in about 9 hours for work. When I see I have a notification icon in the top left of my screen.

It's for the app that tracks my period and when to order my birth control meds. Opening the app and my heart sinks and momentarily forgetting how to breathe. Not only did I forget to get my birth control pills refilled today which means I won't have any in the morning. Remembering that I throw the bottle away this morning. But I can't remember when was my last period. Which I need to know before ordering my pills. I spotted about four weeks ago. The panic seizes me. The brutal taste of acid creeps up the back of my throat. I race into my bathroom, and throwing up only stomach acid. My body dry heaves trying to get the very little that is left out of my stomach. Flushing the toilet as I set up, sitting on the top of the lid, running the dates of my previous periods through my head. Hunch over to the counter, taking slow shaky breathes as the realization comes over me. I try and steady my breathing. Turning the faucet on as the tears begin to roll down my cheeks, hoping the sound of the running water will drown out my sobs. _'This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening'_ I whisper to myself as I process the new information. Not daring to the say the word out loud. Fearing if I say it out loud, that will only make it true and real. My mind is screaming the word, flashing in bright neon lights. _Pregnant!_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"OK, ok settled down. Amir, if you miss this Jaz wins." I taunt my teammate from my desk. Jaz holding her hands up making a makeshift goal with her thumbs and index finger. Amir sitting opposite her, both sitting at their desk across from each other with a piece of paper folded into a triangle about to flick it. As he does, he overshoots and it goes over Jaz's shoulder and landing in front of Dalton's desk.

"Jaz wins!" I shout. Jaz laughing, doing a chicken wing sort dance in her chair. Amir's head slumps in defend resting on his forearm.

"That makes 12 goals for Jaz." Dalton states in a cheerful tone from behind his desktop.

"I don't know why I play against you," Amir says muffled against his desk. Jaz still dancing, basing in her win.

"We don't know either." I laugh, popping up on to the massage table. The office feels different now that Preach is no longer apart of the team, but we are functioning still. This team has taken a lot this last year and yet here we still are laughing, playing games and shooting the bull. This is the part of the team I love the most. This is our new normal, we workout together, run drills together and have new roles to play as a team. There have been some new challenges but at the end of the day, we are pulling it together.

Today the team ran some hypnotical situation and what each member of the team's role would be. Then they would escalate the situation and we would have to work the problem. Which made the day long and boring day in a conference room. Hannah demanding our absolute attention. Then going over pervious missions and what we could have done differently. I had to dig down deep and keep my focus on the task at hand, being the second in charge for command for the team. But this shit is boring.

A ping of worry comes to the forefront of my mind. _Kate._ She was sick last night. So sick, that she called out of work because if it. While I was getting dressed for PT this morning, I heard her throwing up again. Holding her hair back while she puked, trying to help her. I wanted to stay there with her and take care of her. That is the boyfriend's side of me but the soldier's side of me knew she was right. I have a job and I have to do it. I have been trying to check on her periodically throughout the day. She is feeling better, she went out and got some ginger ale and crackers. She is finally able to hold something down and hasn't thrown up since this morning.

"What is everyone contributing for Thanksgiving dinner at Preach's?" Dalton using his voluntold voice.

"I am attempting American stuffing?" Amir responds through it sounded like is he was questioning his ability to make it.

"Dinner rolls." Jaz gives aa cheeky smile as everyone knows that is the go-to dinner item that she brings.

"I will probably drop off some pies. My plans aren't confirmed yet." I tell then hoping Kate doesn't have to work and we can tell Dalton before Thanksgiving and we can attend Thanksgiving together.

"What's not confirmed?" Jaz looking annoyed. "You either come or you don't."

Dalton's eyes flicker from Jaz then to me, while Jaz and I stare each other down.

"I will be there, but still unclear if my plus one will be attending," I tell Jaz, feeling extra protective of Kate. The office remains still for a moment with the tension between myself and Jaz hits an uncomfortable point.

"Hannah, what are you bringing to Preach's for Thanksgiving? I am going to see him later and want to have an accurate list." Dalton asks breaking the silence. Hannah only appearing a moment earlier. She is dress in her normal work attire, casual but has a blazer if she got called into a meeting. Unlike the rest of the team wearing our MultiCam uniforms.

"Thanksgiving is 2 weeks away, I don't know. I will bring the alcohol." She says, though not sure of her answer.

"Go home. You are dismissed. see you all next week. We booked the training area so we can run some drills next week. As a four-man team. Have a great weekend." Hannah standing in the doorway of their office. She has been working closely with the team. I think she would be the best choice as the fifth member for the team if she ever wanted to go back into the field.

I didn't have to be told twice. I wanted to get home to Kate. Being the first one out the door. Not paying attention to the dirty look I got from Jaz, the raised eyebrow look that Dalton gave me from over his desktop and Amir only observing the exchange.

"Where are you off too?" Jaz is calling from behind as we are walking out into chilly November air of the parking of the DIA building, she was pulling her green beret on the top of her head.

"My girl's place." I tell her. Giving her littlest information as possible. I slow my pace enough so she can catch up, also I am not shouting all my personal business across the parking lot. The early evening sky turning dark.

"You stay there a lot, don't you?" She asks me as if she already knows. ' _You have no idea.'_ I wanted to say. Keeping my comment to myself.

"Yeah. So?" Now just feeling annoyed as we moving closer to our trucks. Seeing Dalton was walking out of the entrance of the building.

"Dude, I don't want you to get heartbroken over some random chick." She says. Her words fill me with rage. Taking a deep breath, trying to calm myself before speaking to her. Another reason why we need to tell the team.

"You _don't_ have a clue. Mind your own business." I tell her quietly before climbing into the driver's side of my truck, slamming my door closed. On the way home I pick up Panera Bread for dinner, hoping some soup and bread will make her feel better. Trying to shake my mood before getting home. The moment I walk through the door my bad moo instantly melts away. Kate is laying on the couch looking better than she did this morning. She is my wearing a hoodie and sweat pants, her hair messy and she looks peaceful sleeping. An open sleeve of crackers on the coffee table and a half-empty bottle of ginger ale with the Office playing on the tv. ' _Everything is right in the world.'_ I think to myself before stepping towards the kitchen.

Quietly I set the paper bags on the kitchen counters, next to the grocery bags. Kate had told me she went out to get somethings for her stomach. The bags contained: a box of crackers (opened and a sleeve of crackers missing), a pack of ginger ale, a box of peppermint tea and at the bottom of the bag was a blue box. ' _What the fuck?'_ _Pregnancy test_? Holding the box as if it is a bomb waiting it detonate. The room shifting around me. A thousand things run through my head.

"Bae?" I ask from the archway of the kitchen into the living room. Taking slow and careful steps moving around the furniture, watching Kate's eyes fluttering wake.

"Kate? Talk to me." Mentally freaking out. I can't process what I holding in my hands. She sits up, only meeting my eyes once before they rest on the box in my hands. "What is th…..what? " I ask her, but can't formulate the rest of the sentence.

"I'm late, which isn't abnormal. Between work and not sleeping I am not regular, even with birth control. But I had nothing this last month. I didn't realize until when I have to order my birth control and couldn't remember when my last period was. I spotted but just nothing else. I didn't take it yet. I was feeling like I could maybe start my period. But I don't know. I am just scared. Just so scared because this with us is so new and we both know you can leave at any point. I am terrified. I am terrified of this, of doing this." Her voice breaking as she spoke, visibly trembling as she spoke, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Why don't we take it together and then we will figure out the rest. Together." I tell her, still in a state of shock, but more terrified because she is emotional. She is always so calm and collected. It's the first time I have seen her scared or upset enough to cry. Together we climb the stairs to her bedroom and then handing her the pregnancy test box. She heads into the bathroom, leaving the door partly open. Joseph pacing on the other side. ' _Maybe this is nothing. Maybe she isn't pregnant. Shit! Maybe she is pregnant.'_ Thinking about the times we had sex without a condom. _T_ he feeling of panic and heaviness weights on his chest. ' _FUCK.'_ Taking a deep breath and exhaling counting slowly. But his technique isn't working.

Hearing the toilet flush, and the swing of the bathroom door open, Kate starts washing her hands with both sticks sitting on the countertop. She is holding it together, she is trying to be strong through right now, at any moment she could break. Depending on the outcome of that test.

"Come here," I tell her, pulling her into my chest holding her close, the heaviness still there but the panic eases a little. "Whatever that test says, it doesn't change how I feel about you. I know we have been keeping our relationship quiet, but I want you. Pregnant or not. I want you to be with you, putting it out there nothing is changing the way I feel about you. You have made me so happy since you came into my life and I don't want a life without you in it." Telling her the truth about how I feel. Though not telling her that I love her. I don't want me telling her that associated with her being pregnant. I want her to know that I love her for her, not because she could be pregnant.

She remains silent with her head buried into his chest. Standing there holding her, he was sure she was holding her breath until enough time had passed before looking at the results. Wanting it to be just the two of them, holding her just a little longer, knowing if they see the results of this test it might not be just them anymore. The results of this could be the best part of their lives. The feeling in chest my changing, anticipation mounting, it wasn't panic anymore. Excitement of the unknown replacing the feeling panic. The same feeling, I got whenever they were on mission and doing something reckless. I wanted to know; he couldn't wait any longer. Releasing her, moving into the bathroom, taking a deep breath, and looking at the pregnancy test that laid on the counter. He could feel a wave of emotion feeling his chest and pooling just below the surface. Excitement tingling through him. PREGNANT. The test read across both tests.

"Pregnant. It says you're pregnant." He told her, pulling her back into his arms. "We got this." He kissed into her hair, holding her close. She begins sobbing into his chest. "It's ok."

I just let her sob, knowing that this wasn't a part of her plan. I wasn't a part of her plan though either. ' _If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.'_ Preach's voice echoing from a distant memory. Thinking how this relationship has evolved. She was a girl I wanted to get to know to wanting to spend the rest of my life with her. Now we having a baby, this isn't how it was all supposed to happen but I would not change one thing.

After some time passed Kate stopped crying, her head buried into his chest. Still riding that excitement high I get during a firefight, the not knowing what was going to happen at the end of it filled him. Realizing that he was actually happy about this, he wasn't upset or terrified.

"What's going through that beautiful head of yours?" asking softly, craving to know what her thoughts were. Hoping that would match his happiness.

Detaching herself from his chest. Moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "I am scared," she whispers looking up at me. Her eyes and cheeks beet red. "it's all too much. I don't think I can do this." She questions.

"Do what?" I ask sympathizing with her feelings. Trying to support the only way he knew how, by listening to her.

"I don't know if I can be a good mom." She whispers.

"What?" shocked by her words. "You're going to be an awesome mom. You're so caring, passionate and loving. This baby is going to be so lucky to have you as their mom." Wrapping my arms around her. Only trying to imagine her being a bad mom. That's not even possible. "What makes you think you could not be a good mom?"

"My parents were horrible parents." She spoke. Seeing the fragile little girl that couldn't rely on her parents to protect her and showed her what it was like to live in fear.

"Bae, you won't be like your parents. You are a better person than most of everyone I have ever met. You are going to show our baby what it means to be loved and cared for. You're going to be a great mom." I tell her. Trying to tamper down my excitement.

"I am going to schedule an appointment with my gynecologist before I truly believe I am pregnant. It can always be false positive." She is gone from my side, listening to her footfalls as she descends the stairs.

'Pregnant. She is pregnant.' Sitting on the edge of their bed, letting the excitement truly overwhelm him while he repeats those words to himself.


	13. Chapter 13

No dreams came. Laying here awake in the dark, listening to the slow but not the sleeping breaths from him. Not sure what to say. Today brought more questions than answers. Joseph and I went to my gynecologist. My blood and urine test both came back positive, I am pregnant. 10 weeks. I have the black and white sonogram pictures of the little peanut on the dresser to prove it. My body doesn't feel like it belongs to me anymore, like all of this is happening to someone else and I just watching from afar. Feeling insecure of my body, I am sleeping in one of Josephs' shirts tonight. After the appointment, Joseph went back to his barracks for a while. Clearly needing some distance. Even now, I feel like he is on another continent. Feeling the impending bomb that will end whatever this relationship was. my heartbreaking as we lay together for the last time. My back pressed against his side he is laying on his back, my fingers are interlacing with his. I can almost hear him thinking.

"Kate?" He sighs quietly. Rolling over to face him. 'This is it, he is _going to break up with me now. He didn't want to come into this for a long term commitment._ _He wanted something easy_ _and noncommittal. He doesn't want me and he doesn't want this baby.'_ I thought to myself, this isn't what I wanted. I didn't know what I want. I saw a future with Joseph, but now I am not so sure. It's just another complication of our relationship. Ponder as I prepare for whatever comes out of his mouth next.

"I wanted to tell you something before. Actually, it was that night when we went to the park." Nodding my head in acknowledgment. "I had known for a while, but that is when I knew. Then things got crazy and life sort of got in the way." His words coming out quick and jumbled, he stops to stare into my eyes. I barely make out his pupils, I can tell from the dim light radiating from the barely closed bathroom door his face was relaxed as he settles his soft lips on mine. Starting slowly moving his lips against mine, parting them slightly. Sharing the breath between us. Rolling on top of him more feeling his excitement against my upper thigh. His hand fisting into my hair tugging lightly. The other hand tracing my back, hip, and ass. Committing this moment to memory, just in case it is over in the morning. Joseph McGuire is the best lover I have ever had, will probably be my last one. Knowing that no one will want me after I have this baby. Pulling away, missing his lips as he laid back in the pillow. His hand resting on top of my hip. Taking a deep breath, ingraining his scent to memory. His thumb brushing back and forth against my skin. Hoping that the morning will never come so I could enjoy this night for a little longer.

Taking a deep breath, "I haven't said this to anyone before. I haven't felt like this before," tucking my hair behind my ear. "I love you." He tells me.

The world stopped. The bed, the floor, the ground below me is pulled out from under. He can't be telling this. He was going to break up with me. He doesn't want me and a baby. Why would anyone want me now? Everything I thought I knew, I didn't know. Why would anyone love me? Does he love me? I thought I was the only one that felt that way in this relationship.

"I know our life just got a little crazier." Placing hand on under his shirt that I am wearing and resting it on my flat stomach. "but that doesn't change how I feel about you. This is actually the product of our love. Something we created together. You are the best thing that has happened to me. My life is fuller now that you are it. This little one will only bring more joy into it." He tells me. The whole room tilts a little. Trying to get my bearing and grip on the words he is speaking.

"Kate?" I am was still for too long. Taking a breath, momentarily forgetting how to breathe. "Did you hear me?" he asks me.

"I am sorry, I thought you were going to break up with me," I tell him truthfully.

His boyish smile pulling across his lip. "Break up with you? No." He takes my hand, placing it on his bare chest over his heart, his hand pressing on top of mine. The other still pressed against my stomach. "I couldn't break up with the girl that this belongs too." Lacing my fingers with his. Lowering my mouth to his, I roll on top of him. Letting my action tell him exactly how I feel. Only wearing a shirt, pulling it over my head and settling on top of him completely naked. My insecurities disappearing with my clothing.

His eyes travel over my body, his fingertips ghosting over my curves. Feeling him grow harder underneath me. Kicking off the cover with bottoms he was wearing. In the same motion, he is inside me, the two of us becoming one. Sitting up with me, his arms wrap around my back as we move together, my hips grinding down against him. Kissing along his jawline to his earlobe. Feeling the cliff of my orgasm quickly approaching. Taking the tender flesh between my teeth, "I love you. I love you too, Joseph." Whispering to him, as his move deeper inside of me. Pushing me off the cliff and into the abyss of sensitivity. As he kept thrusting into me, deeper and deeper. His every touch, the movement sending my nerves into a fiery blaze. The rough skin of his beard scratching against my bare breast leaving traces of his lips burning into my skin. Marking me as his. Forever and always. That familiar sensation making waves in my stomach, his breath becoming ragged and quick. Moaning against his bare shoulder. My body seizing around him. He thrusting into me deeper and comes in me, meeting me in bliss. This being the closest I have ever been with anyone. Knowing this isn't going to end any time soon. My stomach muscles are contracted from my orgasm, laying back down, together as one still trying to picture what this will look like when my belly is round with pregnancy. The picture is a little too perfect for me. But starting to be ok with. Joseph loves me and he wants to be with me. Realizing I won't be alone to do this. That our future is still intact, just growing by one more.

"I talked to my mom today. I told her." He tells me to turn my body to see face him. "I told her about the baby. She is already planning on coming out when the baby is due and going to staying at least a month to help. She can't wait to finally have a grandbaby to spoil."

"Really?" I asked shocked that she wasn't upset that we got pregnant after a short time of dating.

"I think she has been waiting for me to settle down for a while. I was just waiting for the right girl." My heart fills at his words. His lips find mine and kissing me softly. Pressing my body closer to his. Not ever wanting to be separate from him. "I can't wait to talk about names, or feel her move, or him. Mom wouldn't stop jabbering about the things we need to get for the baby. She is really excited. I am excited. I think our friends will be excited for us. And your brother will be excited for us." His voice slows and drops. The fear of rejection and jolts through me. Adam is the only family I have and I couldn't handle that relationship being destroyed. "We need to tell him. He will notice sooner or later when you start showing." Joseph tracing long strokes from my hip to my rib cage. His words are slow and careful. "We will want his blessing if we want to get married." He says nervously.

"We won't need his blessing, because we aren't getting married." I sit up away from him. He is frozen in place, confusion clear on his face from my abrupt movement. "I love you but I wouldn't _EVER_ get married." Rage and anger coming from a dark place inside me.

"I'm not saying we have to get married. People have babies every day without being married but I would like to be married to you one day." Joseph explains sitting up, reaching for my hands. I don't care to be touch. Getting out of the bed and standing completely naked, picking up the shirt I took off earlier and placing it back on. The shirt fits more like a mini dress. Though my skin feels hot and like I could catch fire.

"I watch my mother be married to my dad and take his drunken ways and him being an asshole to her and me and my siblings. She stayed because of that marriage. She refused to leave because God and the church don't believe in divorce. So I took years of emotional and physical abuse from that man because of that marriage." I am now pacing the length of the side of the bed yelling.

"Kate, you're not your mom." Joseph moving to sit on my side of the bed pulling the blankets to cover his lap, his dark hair messy. Reaching for me. I pull away, still not wanting to be touch. "I am not your father." His voice calm and reasonable. His eyes pleading for me to calm down, to reason with him, to sit with him, to allow him to comfort me.

"I won't ever get married. That marriage, my mom believed in _killed_ my baby sister. Then she blamed Adam and me for the accident. She blamed us after that asshole killed Sarah." I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the cool tears rolling down my burning cheeks. Anger, fear, and sadness overwhelm me. My breaths are gasps as I cry for the brokenness of my family and for the guilt that I carry because I asked my mom to come to the football game and watch Adam play. I wanted her to see Becca and me cheer. It was my fault they were there. It was my fault that my dad killed my sister. It was my fault that my family was destroyed.

"Kate…." He reaches for me. I destroyed my family. This relationship with Joseph and baby will destroy the last connection I have with the only family I have left. Everything I touch I ruin. I will ruin Joseph. Needing space, my fight or flight sense kick in and rushing into the bathroom, slamming the door closed and pressing the lock on the door. Once completely alone, crumbling to the cold tile floor and losing control. Sobbing into my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs, becoming a ball on the floor, holding myself as I fall apart.

Knowing I don't deserve a happy ending, with the man I love and our baby. I deserve to be alone. It was my dad's fault for killing Sarah, but it was my fault they were there in the first place. Everything I have pushed down, things I storage in neat boxes and kept behind a locked door are now coming up. Simply because this man I love so deeply wants to marry me. The door is wide up and the boxes of been clawed through, the pain that has been buried down for years, is at the surface now, and I am coming face to face with the truth from that night. I am losing this battle.

"Kate. I didn't mean to make you upset. I am sorry. You need some space. But I am right downstairs if you want to talk. I love you." He says through the door. After a few seconds of draws closing, his footsteps becoming further away as he descended down the stairs.

My sobs pulling me towards sleep, with the weight of despair pressing down on me, balled on the tile floor of the bathroom floor. Falling into a dark and deep dreamless sleep.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP,BEEP. The sound of my phone ringing sounding far away. Reaching to grab it, and only finding a cold smooth surface, rather than the grainy wooden surface of my side table. Stretching out as the pass hours resurface. I am still in my bathroom, on the floor with nothing on but Joseph's t-shirt. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

Jumping to my feet. My body screaming as it works through the aches of sleeping balled-up on the floor. Opening the bathroom door to an empty room, unmade bed and the waves of highs and lows from last night still remains. Finally reaching my phone. Instantly recognizing the number from work.

"Hello?" I answer quickly and breathlessly. Not even sure what time it is. Fighting with my watch to see that it is only 0530 in the morning.

"Hey Kate, its Alex." Alex is one of the night shift charge nurses that work in the Emergency Department. I don't know her very well another then she runs a tight shift and rarely leaves me a mess when coming on to shift.

"Good morning," I said.

"I know this is short notice but, Savannah called out. She has a stomach bug." she explains.

"It's not my call back day," I reply. Knowing that I have to work the next 3 days.

"I know. Kelsey isn't answering her phone and we are still working on 5 individuals from a rollover crash. I know this is a big ask. Please?" Being the first time I am hearing the desperation in Alex's voice.

"Give me 30 minutes." I tell her before saying bye and hanging up the phone. Taking a fast shower, washing the invisible raw wounds that cover my body. Lightly washing my belly. Out of everything that happened last night, maybe this baby is my chance to do better. Maybe there is hope for Joseph and me. To be the parents my parents weren't. Hoping radiating from my belly and healing some of my hurt.

Getting ready for work, feeling as if I am putting myself back together. Still raw from the emotions and revelations but feelings like I have come to terms with my part that I played that night. That meltdown was freeing in ways.

My hair still wet but pulled into a ponytail, my navy scrubs are a little wrinkled from being in the laundry basket, but I don't have to time iron them or put them back in the dryer. Hurrying down the stairs, wanting to see Joseph. Finding the living room completely empty. The pillows are flatten and disorganization as if he had been there. Moving into the kitchen finding a glass of orange juice, my bottles of prenatal vitamins and anti-nausea pills with a note beneath.

' _Good Morning beautiful. I have tactical training all day. I love you. J._ '

Missing him, knowing that it will be this evening before I get to see him again. Pulling my phone out from the front of my scrub pockets, pressing on 'J' in my contacts to send him a message.

 _'_ _Good morning. I just got called into work. I will see you tonight at home._ _Love you._ ' I thumb out. Realizing this is his home. Maybe its time that we make it more official and have him completely move in. I have plenty of space, though my spare bedroom is going to be transformed into a nursery for the baby. I think to myself while taking a pill from each bottle, popping them into my mouth and washing them down with the orange juice. As soon as I swallow my last gulp of juice, I regret it. My stomach queasy and mouth-watering, not liking my new aversions of food or drinks. Grabbing some crackers from the countertop to help ease my stomach. Quickly leaving, trying to mentally preparing for what work will hold for me. Reminding myself that I will have to take breaks to eat a little something and to be more cautious at work, it's just not myself I have to be worried about.


	14. Chapter 14

Darkness surrounds us, the only sight we have comes from the Night vision goggles. The greenish tint guiding our path to the objective. At the first door, Amir is first, I am the second man, Jaz behind me, and Top last man. Amir kicks the door open, pops off two shots of his paintball gun. "combatant down." As he moves along the wall. Stepping through the doorway, sweeping in the opposite direction. Converging on another entryway. A narrow hallway, in a singular motion, Amir and I move into the hallway. In a staggered line, pressed close to the walls as we make our way down with Jaz and Top behind us. "Coming to the target door." Amir breathes heavy into our earpiece.

It's my turn to kick in the door. As my foot kicks the flimsy wood, the barrel of my rifle is pointed up, ready to shoot. But I am too late. The wet paint of the training bullets burst against my shoulder and sprays my face and neck. Covering my only exposed skin and over my uniform in bright red paint. I shoot back out of instinct. Pissed that I shot. Amir fires a control pair off as well towards the combatant, making the combatant kneel down. Jaz from the doorway fires shots disarming the combatant at the far side of the room, that was wearing a suicide vest. "Target down," Top is reporting information. "McG status?"

"Just a flesh wound," I reply not wanting to have been a casualty during this last scenario. Still pissed, that this green team guy shot me.

"End dex. End dex." Hannah calls in our earpieces and from above us. "McGuire goes down. Who is next on Medevac?" Hannah asks.

"I am" Jaz raises her hand. Pain emerges just at the thought she would be responsible for my first aid if I was actually shot. Thinking to the time she had to stitch the palm of my hand because of her ninja skills. It was after the beach bombing; I had been having a hard time sleeping and got up in the middle of the night thinking if I had something on my stomach, I would be able to fall asleep better. Opening a can of tuna, I didn't hear her, like most times and just startled me. Slicing my palm open on the can lid and instead of going to the hospital on the base I taught Jaz how to stitch. I already sprained my wrist from the landing on it wrong from the blast of the explosion, trying to use my body to shield a kid that was playing soccer with us. That was the first half of the deployment. Somehow, we survived. Grinning at my own thoughts.

"If Jaz is covering for Medevac, who goes on overwatch?" Hannah asks.

"I do." Top gives a flick of his hand. Everyone is having to pick up an additional duty with Preach now gone. Also, Team 7 is attempting to be the first to operate with only a 4-member team. With this training and the teams' successful history hopefully, we will be operating in the field, soon.

"If Dalton goes down, who is next in command?" Hannah asks.

"Me." I raise my hand.

"If McG is a down, who is next?" She requests.

With a raise of her hand and a head nod, in typical Jaz fashion.

"If Jaz is down, who is in charge?" Hannah going to burning it in our minds how our ranking system is. So, it becomes a habit, instinct. This is a part of the job. Knowing who to look towards, and who to take orders from.

"I am." Amir saying confidentially next to me. Smirking at him, making me think he is trying to impress Hannah. That maybe they are more than just coworkers since there time in Germany together.

"What would you differently, so McG doesn't get shot?" Hannah asks, with a smile.

"Not get shot." Jaz shoots her mouth.

"It's just a flesh wound." I joke, causing the team to laugh.

"That flesh wound is going to cost you, a round with dinner." Top reminding me of the wager we will agree to before today's training. If anyone got shot, they would have to buy a round of drinks for the team with dinner.

"Maybe if we used an explosive entry." Amir answers proudly, trying to redirect the back to the training.

Jaz laughs, causing the Top and myself following in her laughter. Amir is the only not laughing. With Amir being the newest member of the team, not knowing that Preach and Elijah were the only two that were ever trained or authorized to handle explosives. Top has had his fair share of EOD, I never had the interest to do anything with explosives and Jaz was already deadly enough on her own.

"I know who I am going to send explosives training." Top says with a smile and a nod towards Amir. Amir not knowing he was going to have to spend a month in 'nowhere' Kansas. Clearly finished with training, Hannah moving to the stairs on the other side of the skeleton building. As the team moves to meet her at the mouth of the training facility. A debate breaks out where we are going to eat. Jaz wanting Steak, Top agreeing with her. Amir wanting to trying a new Italian restaurant. I, not caring where we eat, I just want to talk to Kate soon. The training around was a strict no phones allowed area.

I don't like how things were left from last night. She was so upset, and yesterday was such an important day for us, I told her I love her, she told me she loves me and got to see our baby. In that moment when I saw our baby, I had clarity like I hadn't before. She is the one I want to spend my life with. Fate brought us together and now, I want to marry her; I want her to be by my side for now and ever. I just didn't know that bringing up marriage would cause a fight or distress. She completely shut me out and didn't want to talk about any of it. I have had to push this feeling of being lost without her today. It was a reality pill of what life could be like without her being in by my side. Causing my mood to darken all day.

"Russo's in an hour?" Jaz's voice breaking me from my thoughts. Telling me that the decision was made without my input needed.

"Sorry. Russo's? Yea." I answer, approaching our vehicles the sky already black and the wind blowing a chill into my bones. My body armor did nothing to protect me from the cold, with my ACH tucked under my arms. Hustling faster to my driver's side digging the keys from the front pocket of my tactical pants. While reaching for the vibration coming from my shoulder pocket, the paint covering my shoulder and body armor still a little wet from being shot at. Setting my ACH on the hood of the truck, having to unzip the pocket my phone is in and has been there since 0500 this morning when we started training. Recognizing that hospital number, that it's probably Kate calling from work though she wasn't supposed to be working today.

"Hello" I answer eagerly to hear Kate's voice but confused why she would be calling from the hospital as I unlocking the doors and climbing inside the cab.

"Hi, my name is Alex. I work with Kate. Is this Joseph McGuire?" I give a quick yes, "Kate is here in the Emergency Department. She was in an accident." My stomach drops, my world shifts, and panic fills me. Gripping the steering wheel to steady me. My chest becoming tight making it difficult to breathe.

"How? Is she?" I can't finish my thoughts, let alone a sentence. Feeling like I could throw up from the news.

"She is stable but is in and out of consciousness. She was asking for you." Alex explains.

"She is pregnant." Fear mixing in with that panic. I haven't felt scared or panicked like this before. The tightness in my chest makes me feel like I am being held underwater, seeing how long I can strive without oxygen. Both Kate and our baby were in an accident.

"Ok. Just get here. She is asking for you." Something in her tone is pushing my fear and panic more. Feeling like everything I had is about to slip out of my hands. I pull out of the parking, as my mind runs. What if there is brain trauma, is there internal damage or bleeding. How is the baby? Are there any broken bones? What does that mean to her pregnancy if she did break something? My mind is clouded, as I drive on auto-pilot. I finally snap out of my internal panic and auto-pilot when having to park in front of the hospital. Walking inside to the bright flounces lights of the Emergency Department waiting room. Moving too fast I collide with the admissions desk where a nurse is sitting behind.

"Kaitlyn Dalton. She was in an accident." Kate's name flickers an urgent look on the nurse's face and buzzing me inside the double doors and telling me she was in bed 10. Wondering in a panic down a row of rooms, having no idea where I was going.

"Can I help you?" Asks another nurse. Clearly seeing I have no idea where to go. Unlike times I have visited Kate when she was on Labor and Delivery, I haven't visited her since she moved down to the Emergency department.

"Kate Dalton, where is she?" I ask unable to hide the panic in my voice; I can feel the shakiness of my body. Like a cold chill, I can't control.

"Your Joseph." I shake my head as she asks. "I am Alex we spoke on the phone. She is in bed 10. I will take you." She leads me down the row to the furthest room at the hall, but the closest to the nurse's station. Pulling back the curtain to the darkened room. I am frozen at the doorway. There was a soft glow of light that lite the room. The monitors showing Kate's blood pressure, pulse, and O2 level. The computer monitors near the end of the room adding to the soft glow, her vitals are being tracked every 10 minutes. What her treatment plan is. In the center of the room was a single stretcher. Both side rails are up, keeping her rolling off. She is covered from the neck down in white linen. Tubes coming from under the linen leading to the fluids that are hung above the head of the bed from an IV pole. There laying was my whole world. Laying there was my whole world. The normal spring-like curls are flat against the white pillow, her head is tilting to the right side and the shadows on the left side of her face, ' _The whole side of her face is going to bruise.'_ I think to myself allow counting the number of little cuts from glass, she has on her face. Slowly brushing the strands of hair away from her face, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

Hmmmmm she moans as her eyes flutter open.

"Hey, Beautiful." I say quietly. Kate squinting from the soft glow of the light of the room. "How are you?" I ask her.

"Like a sledgehammer hit me in the head." She tries to smile, but a pained grimace covers her face instead. Her words are sharp like knives cutting through me.

"What happened?" I lean over the bed rail trying to get closer to her, realizing how terrified I am about losing this person in this bed. My hand slipping under the white linens to find hers. Having the need to hold on to her.

"I was driving home, and the next thing I see is a penlight in my eyes, the EMS guy asking me my name. Then woke to Alex in my face, and I told her to call you. I am sorry, I don't know, my head hurts so badly." She says sleepily.

"Ok, I know. You're ok, I am going to talk to Alex, I will be right outside. I love you." I whisper into her hair while giving her a kiss. As Kate's eyes flutter closed and her face softens. She looks so fragile my heart aches for her and I want to take all of her pain away. The nauseous feeling swirling in my stomach as I step outside the curtain, finding Alex behind the Nurses station. For an emergency department, at the moment is very calm.

"Alex, can you fill me in what is all happening?" I ask, really concerned about Kate's pain and how tired she is.

"Kate was leaving work, some ass-hat blew through a red light. She was hit on the driver-side. EMS said her car is totaled. She was unresponsive at the scene. She came in really groggy. Vitals are what we expect from a car accident. Gave her something for the pain and nausea, there isn't an indication that she broke anything. Though she is going to be bruised and sore. But we want to do a CAT scan of her head to ensure that there isn't anything we are missing. You said she is pregnant, how far along?"

"Yes, 10 weeks." the fear and panic feeling I have to make me nauseous.

"She is cramping and having some vaginal bleeding. We will order an ultrasound." The thought of losing our baby, making me feel like someone just kicked my knees out from under me. Another stab in the chest for the fear that is building inside. Fearing the worst. Fearing that maybe we have lost our baby. The tears gather at the corners of my eyes, trying to absorb the information that is coming at me. "Don't jump to any conclusions yet. She is in great hands and we will come to discuss everything her and you once we have some clear pictures and test results." Alex rests a hand on my shoulder, trying to reassure me.

Rubbing my hands over my face while I try and gather what strength I could so I can comfort her. She needs me right now. Finding a chair from the far side of the room, carefully and quietly placing it next to her bed. Letting down the bed rail, trying to be as close to her as possible without getting in the be with her. One hand at the top of her head combing her hair back the other draped along with her. I feel like I am losing the battle, playing this waiting game. I am used to the hurry up and wait game. I have been a soldier for the 10 years, but sitting here being helpless to do anything for her is the worst type of torture. I wish I could take all of her pain; I wish I could switch places with her.

It seemed like hours before but it was only 45 minutes later an older woman came in with a mobile ultrasound machine. When she asked for her name, Kate barely made a sound. She moaned in discomfort when she was trying to get into position. Trying to help her is when I realized that Kate was basically naked under the covers, only wearing her bra. Doing my own mental assessment of her injuries just seeing the bruising on the left side of her body. The older woman had the screen position so she could only see the screen. Which was increased my worry. Kate's eyes still closed, and flashes of pain reflect every once and a while. Not sure if she is aware of what is going on, she stilled seemed pretty out of it. Not sure how we would handle it, if we lost the baby. Fearing that the car accident has caused her to miscarry our baby. Holding on to hope that our baby is still in there. Holding Kate's hand trying, and chewing my nails trying to calm my own nerves.

"Joe?" she mumbles. Her voice is the saddest sound that I have ever heard. Leaning closer me to her, so I can hear her better.

"Yes, bae." I answer her, as I crane my neck to see the screen of the ultrasound.

"Is the baby ok?" my heart sinks. I don't know. I don't know what to tell her. Glancing over to the old woman that is sitting behind the machine, one hand tapping on the keyboard and with the other holding the probe that was in between Kate's legs. This early in the pregnancy transvaginal ultrasound is the only way to see the baby. Her eyes meeting mine.

"Mmm," the older woman clearing her throat and saving me from having to tell her I don't know. "Kate your baby looks great. Its even arms are waving and keeps moving." Relishing in the fact our baby is ok and moving. There is a higher power. One less thing to worry about. "What about the cramping?" She asked her keeping her eyes closed the entire time. Moving to the bigger concern, her head injury.

"The doctor come talk to you. But your baby looks good. Get some rest." She said as she finishes before leaving us alone again.

"Joseph I am sorry about last night." She eyes open looking into mine, her mouth turns into a frown and with a quiver of her lips. As she apologizes for last night, which feels like a thousand days ago.

"No, it's ok. We will talk about that another time. Don't cry." I brush the tears away from the cheeks. "I love you." hating to see her upset and vulnerable.

"What happened to you?" she asks, pulling at my shoulder. I am instantly reminded I was at training. The red paint bright in stark contrast against my greenish camouflage. Remembering I am supposed to meet with the team for dinner. _Fuck!_ I forgot the team dinner.

"I got shot at training." I laugh. Guilt mixing in with my other feelings. Forgetting that I had team dinner. Not only that Dalton doesn't know that Kate was in an accident. Feeling like I need to call him. When she was taken to for her CAT scan, pacing the width of the room with the phone in hand not sure what to say. But making my decision. If roles were reversed, I would want him to call me. My notifications tell me I have two missed calls and four new text messages, distracting me from the task at hand. Both missed calls were from Jaz. The first message is from Amir, asking me where I was. The second was from Jaz, reminding me where we were meeting for dinner. The other two are from Kate. One from this morning, telling she got called into work. The second message was her telling me that she is on her way home. Knowing that shortly after this message was sent, she was in her accident. I can't postpone any longer I have to tell Dalton what happen with his sister. He's her family. The phone only two rings he answers "McG, your late. Where are you?" Jaz was yelling in the background. Not sure how many drinks they have had, but goes nothing, thinking to myself.

"Hey Top, I'm not gonna make it to dinner. It's... it' my girl." I chicken out like the fucking coward I am. "she was in an accident." I blurt out quickly.

"What?" Clearly not understanding what I just said. The background noise making it hard for me to hear him, let alone for him to hear me.

"Yeah, She in the ER. Her car is totaled and has a pretty nasty concussion." I repeat calmly, though my hands are sweaty and my heart is racing. I feel torn between the two. I need to tell Dalton; he is her brother. But on the other hand, she is my girlfriend and I don't want to add more stress to the situation. She has already been through enough tonight.

"Dude, I am sorry to hear that. Let me know if there is anything you need." He tells me before ending our phone call. It wasn't long before Kate was wheeled back into our little private room. She is a little more responsive and a little more talkative. The medicine finally started working and she was less in pain and could keep her eyes open. I even got a smile out of her.

"What am I going to do about my car?" She asks sitting up now, her blankets tucked around her while she sips on some water. Her lip is split on the side of her bottom lip. I didn't know to notice it earlier but now with her talking and smiling it is much more noticeable.

"There's no need to worry. I will drive you." I tell her, giving her my best 'serious' face.

"I bet. You probably won't let me out of your sight." She giggles. What music that is to my ears. My world was being pieced back together. As she pats the top of my knee.

"You got that right." I joke as A young man came in wearing black scrubs and a white lab coat. "Kate what happened?" he asked, pumping some hand sanitizer in his palm, rubbing his hands together until the sanitizer has dissolved.

She gave a shoulder shrug before answering with "Doctor Martin, this is my boyfriend Joseph. Joseph this is Doctor Martin, we work together."

"Nice to meet you." The doctor says, giving a wave. Not wanting to dirty his just sanitized hands.

"Same." I said back. Giving Kate a small squeeze of her hand. Her small hands squeeze back.

"You pain better, the same or worse?" He asks.

"Much better, don't feel like someone is jumping up and down on it." She replies. "but I am still having some cramping."

"We will get to the cramping but first your head. Your scans show that you have a serve concussion. Your brain was rattled against that thick skull of yours. Joseph that means if she falls asleep, she needs to be woken up every hour and a half to two hours, ask her simple questions. First and Last name, what year it is, and who you are." Nodding my head acknowledgment. Having to do this all before with my teammates. "Maybe by next week you should see less of the side effects. If you don't follow up with your primary care manager, but I do want you to rest. The cramping and bleeding are something I think will subside on its own. Your uterus and baby didn't like getting jolted around. You will need to meet with your OB next week for a follow-up. But as if right now Baby looks like it should for 10 weeks. You know what to look for a miscarriage. That is still a possibility but not a likely one, I consulted with doctor Matters we think you need bed rest for the next 5 days. Got it, Joseph, she does nothing? I am putting in your orders for discharge you can get home to rest and heal. Feel better." He tells us before leaving. Feeling resolve by the news. It's just a concussion and they don't believe she will miscarry. Though I am not completely relieved.

"Maybe Alex will get some scrubs from laundry and I can wear those home. They had to cut mine off." She gives me a playful grin. Pulling me back from the thoughts.

"I have some clothes you can wear out in the truck. Don't try and run a marathon or anything before I get back." I chuckle, before giving her a kiss on the side of her mouth, being grace with another of her soft smiles. Once outside the reality of everything comes crashing down. I lied to Dalton about Kate being in an accident. Knowing Kate and Dalton's family history he should know she is in an accident. For too long I have been lying to everyone about this. The team has been my family for years. Dalton maybe my commander but he has always been like a brother in a sense. Now Kate and I are becoming a family, he will be an extension of that. I have done nothing but lie and failed Dalton, and myself in this situation. It's all too much. My mind swimming coming to the drive side of the truck. The panic, fear and now the disappointment too in myself piles on, the nauseous feeling returning as I throw up in the parking. Realizing how much I could have lost. I could have lost Kate and our baby. Tears burning at the corners of my eyes. Using the truck to steady me. Wiping my mouth and face with the sleeve of my top. Pulling myself together opening the back door of the truck. Finding a water bottle on the backseat, rinsing my mouth out before counting to 10 and exhaling. Pulling a pair of PT pants and a hoodie. Coming to terms with what I have to do. I have to come clean about everything.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Every part of my body hurts. I take a breath, I hurt. I blink, I hurt. I think about moving, I hurt. But at least I didn't break any bones or get hurt too badly. I think to myself, knowing that my baby and me are ok. My car though on the other hand is totaled from I am told, groaning internally not sure what I am going to do about it. Knowing there isn't anything I can do about it right now. Opening my eyes after hearing the soft steps of Joseph descending the stairs of our home and seeing him carrying down every single pillow from our bed.

"Sit up slowly, slowly." He instructed me. Sitting up, bracing my belly as I do. A groan of pain escapes my lips. My left side hurts the worst. Joseph quickly places three pillows behind me. Sliding his arm under my knees, lifting gently and placing two more pillows under my knees. Couch will be my home for the time being, until it is safe for me to make it up and the downstairs without the dizziness or Joseph's help.

"Joseph, you don't have to do this. Go a take a shower and get some comfy clothes on." I tell him, seeing him still in his uniform. It's almost 2 am and it took way too long to get discharged from the hospital. He still has paint splatter on his uniform from his training earlier yesterday and he looks tired. I am tired as well.

"I want to get you settled first." He says as he goes back up the stairs again, taking them two at a time. Minutes later returning with blankets in his arms. Covering me with the comforter from our bed, a quilt and then tucking me in the couch. He places a bottle of water on the table in front of me and a can of ginger ale. Turning on the TV and starting to The Office. Finally finished, standing with both hands on his hips, watching the screen as Dwight finds his desk and chair completely covered in wrapping paper, with a grin on his face knowing what will happen next. Looking sexy as ever. This is the man that I love.

"Are you done?" I ask sarcastically. Regaining his attention.

"Am I done?" He questions leaning down, placing a kiss on the top of my head. "Never. I will never be done taking of you and our baby." His dark eyes meeting mine and a soft touch of his hand laying on top of the blankets where my belly is. Staring at his eyes, I see he truly means it. That he will always take care of me and our family. For a brief moment accepting that. I am pain free for the briefest of moments. He is mine and I am his.

"Joseph, would move in with me?" I blurt out. Confusion clear on his face, as he sits on the edge of the coffee table.

"I already live here." He says with a grin. My chest swells with his smile.

"I know, but let's make it official. No more having to run to the barracks for your gear. No more hiding." Keeping my tone even, however silly it is. He has lived here for the last couple of months now but it's time to come clean and do it right.

"No more hiding? You must've riddled your brain." He laughs and accepting my offer, lightly stroking my hair back. "OK, I will get my gear and we will make it official. Before we do that, first I need you and baby to get feeling better." Placing a kiss on of my head.

"No. First, you need a shower." Making a face, knowing he would feel better after a shower. I want a shower, but I also just want to sleep too.

"Got it. It will be quick. Don't do anything. Try to go to sleep and I will be back in a sec." He says climbing up the stairs for the third time since getting home. The sound of the shower coming to life above me. The voices of The Office calm me to sleep. Closing my eyes for the fleeting moment, enjoying whatever is left of my pain killer in my system and letting myself to be pulled under, into the darkness of my slumber.

"Kate! Kate! Are you Here?" Adam is yelling from the front door as I hear the heavy footsteps stumping down the entry way. Not even hearing the front door open. 'Oh fuck.' I think to myself. Becoming aware that Adam is here, in my home while Joseph is upstairs taking a shower, I am stuck on the couch, concussed and everything is about to explode.

"Kate!" He shouts one last time before coming round the corner into the living room. Seeing that Jaz is on his heels. Adam wears the same look that our father would have when he would be pissing mad. Not seeing this look for years, a cold chill slides down my spine. Jaz dressed extremely casual, dark jeans and a gray hoodie and her hair worn loose waves over her shoulders. Jaz's expression is one of fear and worry. Not sure if she who she is worried for or what she is fearing at the moment. But my denim jean and leather jacket wearing brother is giving me flash backs of my father and my nightmare childhood.

"What the FUCK Kate?" His voice is his raise, as he comes closer, standing directly in front of the coffee table. I am unable to move. The connection between my mouth and brain is malfunctioning. "Hello Kate!" Adam waving a hand in the air. My brain working overtime to fix the disconnection of my brain to my mouth.

"Hi, sorry. What are you doing here?" I ask, not really believing that Adam or Jaz is standing in my living room. Completely aware that I am wearing Joseph's unit sweater, his beret on the coffee table with his truck keys and I am in a state of disbelief. Like of all the nights for Adam to just show up at my house, it had to be tonight, after I was in accident with a concussion while Joseph in my bathroom taking a shower.

"Sorry. I got a phone call from the police officer from your accident and you aren't answering your phone and you were already discharged from the hospital. Why the is McGuire's truck in the driveway." Adam is pissed. Everything is clashing together in the worst way ever.

Before I could say anything, Joseph rushing of footsteps are quickly moving from the bedroom and down the stairs. He wearing plaid green p.j. bottoms and a long sleeve black shirt. His hair still dripping water from the shower. Joseph hearing Adam's yelling, he'd cut his shower short coming to my aide.

"What are you doing here?" Adam asks Joseph as he comes down the stairs. His words are filled with disgust and hate as he moves to meet Joseph at the foot of the steps.

"Sir, with all due respect, Kate has been through enough tonight. Its late and this is not the time." Joseph says sternly as stands directly in front of Adam.

"Sir? I want to know what the hell is happening here?" Adam demands, using his hands to talk with.

"Adam, I was in a car accident. I have a concussion and I am sore." Trying to give him something to take his focus off of Joseph. Raising my voice and pushing myself to sit up more.

"I got that from the phone call. That doesn't answer why he is here." Adam acting like a dog digging after his lost bone.

"Sir, please she doesn't need this type of stress." Joseph keeping his voice stern but calm.

"Stop with the 'Sir' shit, I want to know why you are here." Adam commands while jabbing a finger in the middle of Joseph's chest.

"Adam. Adam!" My raised voice and flailing arms trying to pull his attention away from Joseph. His eyes are final reaches mine. "Sit down and I will tell you." I stare at him, not backing down from his glare he is throwing at me. He moves pass Joseph takes a seat at the opposite end of the couch from me. Jaz and Joseph remind in their stationary positions near the foot of the stairs. Annoyed about having to reposition myself, now that I am sitting up, my pregnant bladder is being compressed. Grimacing as I shift my sore body into a comfortable position. Clenching my teeth as my muscles scream in pain. My stomach tenses up, taking a deep breath and slow exhaling.

"When you left for the cabin, Joseph and I ran into each one day after work. We had dinner, and hung out a couple times. Things have evolved." I say breathing through the pain.

"Evolved?" Adam interrupts jumping to his feet.

"Can I finish? I am the one with a concussion." Waiting for a response. With his silent nod, he sits back down on the couch. Feeling myself getting upset as the throbbing behind my eyes is starting to return. "We wanted to make sure this was something we wanted to purse before we made it public. But Preach woke up and the team came back early as we were still trying to figure our relationship. We talked about going public then, but things were changing for Joseph on the team and he already had enough stress adjusting to a new position. You had enough stress with Preach leaving the team and I moved departments. Because of the team and everything changing around us, to be able to spend more time together we started living together." His shoulders slumping with the news as he rests his elbows on the tops of his knees and his head falls into his hands. My brother looking defended. Looking up at Joseph, he is unreadable with is arms cross his chest and his warrior mask pulled down over his normally loving face. This is probably the look that is normal to Jaz and Adam, but not to me. Jaz reminds silent in the background. Still not sure why she was with Adam this late at night.

"After the accident tonight, Joseph and I had talked about making our relationship public. But not like this. Adam, I wanted to make sure this something important to tell you about. You both have enough going on." I finish. Closing my eyes for a moment the feeling of a jack hammer, pounding from the inside of my skull beginning again and stomach not liking the position I am in.

"When you called tonight to tell me, your girlfriend totaled her car. Did it ever occur to you that I should know my sister was in an accident?" Adam says without looking up from his hands. But I didn't talk to Adam tonight, I asked them to call Joseph. Though my memory is a little fuzzy. As I try to remember the details from this evening.

"Things were still unclear at that moment and my main concern was Kate." Joseph tells him.

In a swift motion, Adam is on his feet, standing toe-to-toe with Joseph. "Did you know what my first thought was when I got a call from that officer, telling me my sister was in an accident?" Adam's voice is low with an uneasiness to it. Jaz steps in closer to the two men. Ready to intervene if necessary. My heart sinks, a memory pulls me back to the night my sister and father both died from a car accident. "I got a similar call years ago. This time I had no idea what was happening. I got to the hospital and she was gone. I get here to find you, here."

"Adam it's not his fault." Realizing how much bigger this situation is. Remembering the look, he got after that football game so many years ago. Then him telling Becca and myself that something had happen, and everything had changed for us. Getting that phone call probably pulling Adam into a dark place, and similar place I go when I think of that night. Thinking how fucked up this whole situation is.

"I should have told you. I am sorry for that." Joseph taking a deep breath. "We were waiting on the on the CAT scan results and her blood work. Then they discharged her. Dalton my main concern was her. She is my number one priority." He tells him.

The words were absorbed into the silence. The two most important men in my life are standing toe to toe. Neither one backing down. Adam holding on to the holy ground he has put himself on, of being my protector, and the only person I could ever count on. He has been my only family since our father killed our Sarah. Joseph standing opposite of my Saint like brother. Opposite of Adam in a lot of ways. He is caring and understanding. Where Adam is commanding and always serious. Joseph is loving and passionate. I love him. As much as I don't believe in marriage, I do want to spend the rest of my life with Joseph and our little family.

"Just didn't want to run it by me that you are dating my sister?" Adam throws at Joseph. I groan at my brother as he misses the point. We didn't want to tell him or anyone yet. It really wasn't any of his business.

"I didn't think Kate, who is an adult, needed to get your permission to date." Joseph throws back. Groaning I swing my legs off the couch and trying to push pass the pain. My overly full bladder needing my attention. All of this is too much for the moment.

"Stop both of you. I can't deal with this. Seriously." I say as I hoist myself off the couch, stepping towards them. Receiving a concerning look from Joseph.

"Bae! You shouldn't be up." His attention on me, with an arm wrapped around my shoulders. A hateful look is toss from Adam, by Joseph actions and words.

"I am going to the bathroom, when I get back Adam, you will be leaving. We will sit down and talk about all of this once I am no longer concussed and have had some sleep." Standing close enough to smell the alcohol from Adam. Pissed that he was drinking, driving and coming here causing a scene in the middle of the night.

"Do you need help?" He whispers in my ear, low enough that Adam nor Jaz could hear him. Giving a short nod, then raggedly walk down the entry way to the bathroom. Once inside letting Joseph sweat pants fall to the floor and sliding down the mesh disposable underwear down my thighs. Wishing I didn't deny Joseph's help. But if he did come in here to help me would only cause more of a problem. Leaning against the wall, using it to brace myself as I squat down onto the toilet. Emptying my bladder, getting some relief. While in the hospital, I was given three bags of fluids and now my bladder is super full. Could be a reason why my cramps are as bad as they are. Not as bad as the headache that has returned. Adam's and Joseph's dick measuring contest isn't helping anything. Finishing, realizing I can't reach the pads from under the cabinet. Accepting defeat, Adam would have to get over it and realizing there is no way that I will be able to get up on my own.

"Joseph!" I yell. Hearing faint mumbles, and footfalls before the bathroom door opens and he steps inside. "I can't reach the pads." I say squinting while looking up at him. Without another word, he opens the cabinet, grabs a pad and replacing the used one with a new one.

"You're not bleeding as much as you were." He states mattered of a fact. "Ready to stand?" I just nod. The jack hammer pounding has returned inside my skull. It hurts to open my eyes let alone to change a position. "Is it your head?" He asks softly full of concern. Nodding again. He lifts me from under my arms and setting me on my feet, then pulling up my mesh underwear and sweat pants. Even if my waist band comes all the way up pass my waist line and sits on my rib cage, but in too much pain too care. Adjusting the hem of the sweater shirt by pulling it down.

Coming out of the bathroom leaning against Joseph as he is holding me up. Through my slanted eyes, I see Adam pacing the backside of the couch and Jaz now perched on the stairs. I wobble back to the couch. Bracing my belly as Joseph lifts my legs up and on to pillows. Closing my eyes, listening as Joseph opens and closes cabinet doors in the kitchen. The tension high amidst the silence.

"Did you break ribs?" Adam's tone is gentle and full of concern. My hand pressing into my forehead, applying counter pressure.

"No." I whisper. Joseph returns with two Tylenol. Placing both pills in my hand and then handing my water bottle to me. Then sitting on the coffee table besides me.

"What is that she taking?" Adam asks Joseph, keeping gentle tone. Hearing the annoyance in his voice.

"Tylenol." He replies.

"They didn't prescribe her something strong to help with the pain?" Adam ask slightly confused as he scoffs.

"I can't take anything stronger." I butt in, having to reposition myself on my right side bring my knees to my chest.

"Why?" He asks. If I opened my eyes, I would see Adam standing with both hands on his hips and that 'tell me why' expression on his face.

"Because of the baby." Joseph explains, being done with this situation. The air in the room is sucked out. "Kate's pregnant. There are some complications because of the accident. That's everything to know. Now, it's time for you to leave." Joseph said sternly as he got up from the coffee table. Opening my eyes, Joseph's back is towards me, his shoulders tense and pinched together. Jaz's mouth is open and shock is evident of her face. Adam's expression is a mixture of surprise and exasperate. "Please, she has been through enough tonight and she needs to rest. For her and the baby."

"Fuck!" Adam yells as he turns on his heel and walks down the entry way. Hearing the opening and slamming closed the front door behind him

"Jeez, McG." Jaz says as follows behind Adam. The disappointment evident on her face.

Tears being to slip down my cheeks. The space is fills with disappointment. Adam's disappointment mostly. This is not how I wanted any of this to go. This past week has been nothing more than a cluster fuck. From finding out that I am pregnant. To the marriage argument that resulted in me sleeping on the bathroom floor, then being called into work on my day off and the end of my 12 hour shift I get T-boned, with the concussion to prove it and now my brother, who also is my boyfriend's captain being informed of my new boyfriend that is living with me and of my pregnancy. The emotion squeezes my chest, a sobs escapes pass my lips.

"Bae." Joseph is kneeling in front of me. "I am sorry. Shhhhhhh, it's ok." His fingers combing through my hair and the other draped over me. Holding me, trying to comfort what he can in this moment. Allowing the emotion to take me. All of this is too much. Soft mumbles of his loving words helping me draft into the slumber I have been longing for.


End file.
